Belicove.Com - BeliBlog

May 25, 2003

MINUTE MYSTERY NUMBER 1: The Philosopher and the Judge

The Judge, Judge Dread, had had many disagreeable people before him, but this one, who named himself ëthe Philosopherí, despite never having studied the subject, had really annoyed him. Dread says:

ìI intend to teach you the value of honesty, prisoner. You have been found guilty of being a crook and a swindler and of repeatedly and systematically lying to the court to try to save yourself. Well, justice has caught up with you now, my friend. The sentence of this court isÖí (the Judge pauses for effect and puts on a pair of black gloves and a little black hat) íÖthat you be taken from here to a place of execution and hanged by the neck until you are dead.î

ìÖBUT,î the judge continues, ìas I am a magnanimous Judge, I shall give you one more opportunity to learn the value of truth. If, on the day of your execution, you sign a statement making one true declaration, the sentence will be commuted and you will set free. If, on the other hand, your statement is, in the view of the Chief Executioner, false, the sentence will be carried out immediately. And I warn you,î Dread adds, seeing his words having no effect on the crook, ìthe Chief is a member of the ëLogical Positivist Executioners Clubí and will dismiss any metaphysical nonsense as false, so donít try any of your tricks on her! There, now you have one day in which to make your choice!î

The jury applauds at the severity of the sentence and everyone in the courtroom looks at the defendant, pleased to see such a villain receive a heavy sentence, coupled with the humiliating public true declaration. But, strangely, the Philosopher just smirks back as he is led away to Death Row.

The day of the execution arrives and the crook, beaming, signs a declaration which is handed to the Chief Executioner who reads it with growing bewilderment. Then, snarling, she crumples it up and orders that the Philosopher be released, with no penalty whatsoever.

What could the prisoner have said in the statement to have saved himself?

Posted by Mikal at May 25, 2003 8:41 AM | TrackBack