September 15, 2003
AAAARRR!... THIS FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 19
Do you know what this Friday is? Thatís right, itís International Talk Like a Pirate Day! I know youíre just dying to know, so let me fill you inÖ While the exact details are somewhat fuzzy, Talk Like a Pirate Day was born during a 1995 racquetball match between two regular guys at the Albany, New York, YMCA. It seems that during a tightly contested game, one of the two guys stretched for a shot and said, "Aaaarrr!" in pain. This caused both to lapse into pirate lingo, which is just the sort of thing that guys like to do. The two realized that they had something on their hands and decided the world needed a new national holiday.
As you can clearly see, Talk Like a Pirate Day is nothing more nor less than what the name suggestsÖ a day when people everywhere are permitted ñ no, encouraged! ñ to talk like a pirate. Why? Because it's fun! It's harmlessly goofy and only slightly inappropriate. It's a guy thing, but women seem to enjoy it too. And it's sweeping the planet. For years Talk Like a Pirate Day was celebrated as a rather private event. Then, in 2002, one of the Albany racquetball players tracked down an e-mail address for Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist Dave Barry, who wrote about it in his column. The rest, as they say, is history.
So, this Friday, experiment a bitÖ talk like a pirate. Clink on the link below for specific tips on appropriate (or slightly less appropriate) pirate language.
Beauty ñ The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by ìme,î as in, ìCímere, me beauty,î or even, ìme buxom beauty,î to one particularly well endowed. Youíll be surprised how effective this is.
Bilge rat ñ The Bilge is the lowest level of the ship. Itís loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship.
On TLAP Day ñ A lot of guy humor (regardless of the day of the year) involves insulting your buddies to prove your friendship. Itís important that everyone understand you are smarter, more powerful and much luckier with the wenches than they are. Since bilge rat is a pretty dirty thing to call someone, by all means use it on your friends.
Bung hole ñ Victuals on a ship were stored in wooden casks. The stopper in the barrel is called the bung, and the hole is called the bung hole. Thatís all. It sounds a lot worse, doesnít it?
On TLAP Day ñ When dinner is served youíll make quite an impression when you say, ìWell, me hearties, letís see what crawled out of the bung hole.î That statement will be instantly followed by the sound of people putting down their utensils and pushing themselves away from the table. Great! More for you!
Grog ñ An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water, but in this context you could use it to refer to any alcoholic beverage other than beer. Water aboard ships was stored for long periods in slimy wooden barrels, so you can see why rum was added to each sailorís water ration ñ to kill the rancid taste.
On TLAP Day ñ Drink up, me hearties! And call whatever youíre drinking grog if you want to. If some prissy pedant purses his lips and protests the word grog can only be used if drinking rum and water, not the Singapore Sling youíre holding, keelhaul him!
Lubber ñ (or land lubber) This is the seamanís version of land lover, mangled by typical pirate disregard for elocution. A lubber is someone who does not go to sea, who stays on the land.
On TLAP Day ñ More likely than not, you are a lubber 364 days of the year. But not if youíre talking like a pirate! Then the word lubber becomes one of the more fierce weapons in your arsenal of piratical lingo. In a room where everyone is talking like pirates, lubber is ALWAYS an insult.
Smartly ñ Do something quickly.
On TLAP Day ñ ìSmartly, me lass,î you might say when sending the bar maid off for another round. She will be so impressed she might well spit in your beer.
Posted by Mikal at September 15, 2003 6:58 AM
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