MAINTAINING POST-TRAUMATIC HIGH

I had an interesting conversation with Matt last night about his auto accident. As a quick reminder, Matt was in an automobile accident over the weekend (pictures and dialogue here). We talked by phone about how heís been walking around since the accident with a new 'sense of being', akin to that which we often hear about from people who survive near-death experiences. Survivors like Matt are just happy to be alive, and as a result are placed in the envious position of viewing the world thru a new set of eyes. Big things no longer seem so big, and fear no longer seems to rule the day. Regrets take a back seat to living for the moment and taking things one day at a time. Smiles appear for what the rest of us are the silliest of reasons, and the little things that used to bother us no longer seem to matter.

My question to Matt, and to anyone else who cares to chime in, was thisÖ how do we ñ you and I and all of the billions of other people walking the planet everyday who have not experienced life-changing events such as automobile accidents or near-death events such as a difficult birth ñ how do the rest of us get some of what Mattís experiencing right now? The post-traumatic high, as Matt and I labeled it, which is something that I have experienced myself, never seems to last long enough to make a profound enough of a difference for me to change the world or even myself in any sustainable sort of way. A few days, maybe a week or so later, and life seems to be back to normal. Fear creeps back in, and before you know it weíre back to our old ways. For some that means being resigned and cynical, while for others it may mean living a life that is governed by hesitation and self-doubt.

We shouldnít have to face death head-on in order to gain perspective, should we? How do we all get the high that Mattís experiencing right now, and more importantly, how do we get it to last?

You face life. Real life. Become a part of your surroundings. Find where people are with real pain and help. Seek out those in real need, even if their need is only temporary. Find them help. Give of yourself. It gives a great perspective. It makes you understand why you are here.

NO, we don't have to have a near death experience to appreciate life. I have had 3 near-death experiences. 2 auto accidents that make Matt's car look drivable and the other at the birth of my second child when my blood pressure went down to nothing. i was revived by medication in an emergent situation. My Son and i healthy today. I must be a cat... with 6 lives remaining. Life continues to be tough around this homestead. All i have to do is look into my children's eyes, look at the falling snow, thank strangers who do kindness for us and look around again at the things in our world humans can not make. Then, i understand we are being watched by a higher being and i smile, walk on and try to give back.
Mikal you give of time unselfishly to others doesn't that give YOU peace?

Sallie touched on what was my immediate response to your question. Having a child or children changes your outlook on life permanently--You cannot be self-centered or selfish (on an ongoing basis) if you love your children. The wonder of experiencing everything as new through your child's eyes--both good things and bad--somehow enables you to be more empathetic, sympathetic and appreciative of all life has to offer.

I think I would agree that a near-death experience is not required for the perspective I've received. For me, it was. However, I know others that have such a high level of self actualization and incredible emotional intelligence that they live their lives fully and regret free.

How does one maintain the perspective? The same way someone maintains the perspective gained from self-improvement classes. One can't go through a Tony Robbins course and live the material without practicing it everyday. Each day that you wake up and allow an old perspective to change your view, is a day that you are not living in the world you created under the actualized perspective.

Just like your diet Mikal, it takes diligence. As I stated on the phone that night, I hope that I can continue to rise every morning with the perspective that I may not see that night. I want to live fully. I want to stop procrastinating. I want to change my 'old' way of being. That's not to say that I don't want to continue making long term plans, but I want to appreciate the short-term nature of our fragile lives.

I once was riding my bike and was hit by a VW Vanagon that ran a stop sign. The law or gross tonage were certainly in his favor, but I was able to ride a broken bike to the lunch date I had to tell my girlfriend I had to go to the emergency room. Now, I've walked away from a serious car accident, relatively unscathed. I, too, am running out of lives.

Many people have suggested that someone/thing was watching over me. They've suggested religious intervention. But, I'm a firm believer that I have been the lucky recipient of physical forces. Physics, in both cases, worked in my favor. Quick reactions, physics of the mind, worked in my favor. I don't believe in angels. I don't believe that higher powers intervene in our daily lives. Simply, had things happened even slightly differently, I could be dead today, or still in a hospital bed. But, I'm not.

That's a bit rambling, and I apologize. I guess that I believe that the 'high' can be maintained, but it takes work, effort. If you get the chance to work at maintaining a positve attitude, take it. If you get the chance to smile "for what the rest of us are the silliest of reasons," take it. It feels good and I recommend it. I hope that I can maintain.

I propose that we should be waking up each day and be asking ourselves, "what will you do next." For those who are married, in love, or have some commitment to something have to make the conscious decision every day when they wake to do just that. It's not a matter of planning, but a matter of making a decision that is of right mind and value. Not necessarily bad or good, just that you are "being." Physics alone can't explain the universe, just as religion can't either. That is why we talk about "being" who we are, having the "courage to be" as Paul Tillich would say. The courage to actualize oneself is only a measure of the value one places on "being" who they are fully, awareness and attention to life.

Master busycove: Interesting question you asked about that post-traumatic high.

One immediate answer I have is drugs.... Why ? Because they alter your chemical balance on a more permanent basis, well, of course, I am not promoting drugs. The question is, we all know that it is all about chemicals, as simple and yet as unfortunate it may be, because it leads to a lot of other questions, but that kind of philosophical weight aside, I think one could ask how do we "enhance" our chemical make up, or how do we bring it to a point where we want it to be ? It could be food/nutrition, exercise (endorphins production while running), it could be some extraordinary stimuli.

The state you describe is very desirable, you know, one thing that can still alter my mood very quickly is music.... It's amazing, it's just sound waves, which in the end is just a change of air pressure on your ear drums, and yet, this translates into a chemically induced mood change.

I alos wonder if Matt's reaction is dominated by some "preconditioning" in the sense that he was able to think positively and smile before the incident. So if one has already some rudimentary positive mindset, this kind of positive reaction may be the outcome, but I could also imagine a posttraumatic low, when people are really scared and in shock, posttraumatic stress that is.

I wonder, if the possibility of experiencing this kind of trauma should motivate one, to do all the necessary preconditioning right now that is possible, a sort of prevention so to speak ....not sure.

But at any rate, I heard this before, but it is the same with alcohol, it supposedly only brings out your deeper emotions, so when you feel down, drinking won't help ...

But of course there are chemicals and substances that will bring out the "happiness" and more blissful sides.. No matter what your state of mind is.... But I think, "preconditioning" might help.

In response to C, I received NO drugs, nor did I take any, during the period following my accident. In fact, I think caffine and alcohol are the only drugs I've consumed since the incident. Both, caffine and alcohol, were only consumed in quantities similar to a typical day in my life.

As for preconditioning, I would argue that C may have a point. I'm not morbid, but I've considered life and death regularly. I'm a generally 'happy' person, with a peppy attitude. I'm frequently found with a smile on my face. Therefore, you may have a point, C. Obviously, I can only speak to my disposition.