January 3, 2004
NAME THAT TRUCK / SUV
My good buddy Matt, after flipping and totaling his old ride, has purchased a new truck / SUV, and is now looking for ideas on what to name the beast.
Matt writes the following on his Blog, Matt's Inside World:
OK, it's time to name Matt's new truck. I keep getting choked up everytime I stumble towards saying that I've "replaced" my old truck, Jessie. I simply don't feel that she could be 'replaced.' So, I'm sticking to the phrase, "I've got a new truck." Honestly, it's not new...it's just new to me. She's a 1999, Isuzu Trooper S, purchased with 43K miles. I have NO FRIGGIN' CLUE what to name this one; we've gotten off to a poor start, because I keep seeing white Rodeos everywhere. In fact, just as I was about to take the keys to my new truck, I saw a Rodeo configured just like Jessie. So, I turned around, and saw another. They had the same body, white w/ greyish-silver trim and rack setup. I knew that taking on a new vehicle would be an exercise in sucking up my pride, but I didn't think it would be an emotional roller coaster.
Suggestions Matt's received thus far include:
- Grimace--- from the McDonalds commercials
- Sarohildi--- German for Armored battle maiden
- Alexa--- Greek for Protector of Mankind
- Sanjeet--- Hindi for Invincible
- Breanna--- Celtic for Strong, Virtuous, Honorable
- Kaori--- Japanese for Strength
- Meena--- Hindi for Blue Gem Stone
- Sally--- because that is a very pretty blue for a boy
- Fred--- Foolishly Ridiculous Ecological Disaster
- Vibrator--- if it rattles any, also makes for a good line - "want to see my big blue vibrator?"
- Jersey--- as in the Jersey Blues, that is also the nick name for for the US Army 50th Armored Division, so it has history, and possibly a flag
- Luda--- as in ludacris... in remembrance of the last song that came out of Jessie's speakers.
- Scruff
Let's give Matt a helping hand. Ciick on the 'Comments' link below to add your suggestions for what to name the new truck / SUV.
Posted by Mikal at January 3, 2004 9:21 AM
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Elvis - because those remind me of blue suede shoes!
How about:
IrreGaWa: Irresponsible Gasoline Waster
EnviDesMa: Environment Destroying Machine
AtmoPollMa: Atmospheric Pollution Machine
Sorry to say, but shouldn't you guys know better by now ? Is naming an SUV really that important and buying one a responsible thing to do in the year 2004 ?
Chris, live through a roll over accident and see what you buy. I'm also about to purchase a scooter for my commute to work (90 mpg). Thanks for passing judgement, but please understand that I use my SUV for it's intended purpose. I haul things, I use the space and I regularly end up in places with too much snow or terrain too rough for a Prius to power through or over.
Name the SUV Zeus, after the king of the Gods, or Indra, after the Hindu God of Thunder, Lightning, and Rain.
How about Choked, Stoked, or 2nd Chance???
Umm, I'm with Chris. If I lived through a rollover, I'd go buy something with a lower center of gravity and something safer to me, my passengers and others on the road.
My name would be "Bronson," as in the star of the "Death Wish" franchise.
On the other hand, at least Matt is thinking about the issues. Most SUV drivers, I'd wager, don't.
Likely to rollover, yes. Likely to protect those inside when it does, high. I'm living, walking proof. And, I intend to use the truck on for longer trips, no my commute - excepting when travel is not safe or wise on a scooter.
Not to belabor the point, but if you absolutely must have an SUV -- and not a truck or 4WD car -- that's your call. We still live in a free country, after all. But don't fool yourself into thinking the SUV is going to keep you or your passengers safe. (Surviving a rollover is somehow better than not getting in one in the first place, wha?)
There's a lot of good data at http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/cars/rules/regrev/evaluate/pdf/809662.pdf , such as the likelihood, per billion miles driven, of a fatal accident for various vehicle classes. For SUVs, the frequencies are 10.47 fatal crashes PBM for small SUVs, 13.68 for mid-size and 11.37 for large. In comparison, the rates are 11.37 for small cars, 9.46 for mid-size cars and 7.12 for large cars. It's only compact cars that fare poorly (15.75 fatal crashes PBM).
Those numbers take into account the other guy, which I think is the Christian way to approach the data. When it's just passengers we're talking about, large cars are twice as safe (4.26 fatalities PBM) as mid-size SUVs (9.16 fatalities PBM).
SUVs are also 18 percent more likely than cars to kill a pedestrian -- 42 percent if that pedestrian is a toddler.
I know I'm picking on Matt here, but our dependence on the automobile is I think the most important issue facing our country. It's ruining our cities and social structures, it's forcing us into wars overseas, and it's slaughtering us on our own streets. About 52,000 people a year are killed by cars, the equivalent of one 9/11 every month, yet nobody seems too concerned.
And you'll pardon me if I take SUVs personally. I commute by bike. It's the patriotic and responsible way to get around Chicago (not to mention the fastest, cheapest, most convenient, healthiest and most fun, even in winter). Yet daily I feel my space threatened by the wide berth required of SUVs. All it takes is an extra inch of bumper to clip me and make me a cripple.
There's also a good look at SUV safety in the latest New Yorker, in which Malcolm Gladwell, author of "The Tipping Point," compares "feeling safe" vs. "being safe." The full story isn't online, but it's excerpted here. "The benefits of being nimble -- of being in an automobile that's capable of staying out of trouble -- are in many cases greater than the benefits of being big. Jettas are safe because they make their drivers feel unsafe. S.U.V.s are unsafe because they make their drivers feel safe. That feeling of safety isn't the solution; it's the problem."
YL,
You sure do complain a lot! If you are so miserable with Americans ... MOVE!
Who's complaining? Who's miserable? Not me. I'm just trying to help Matt and others make safe and reasoned decisions about transportation. I love America and I love Americans -- especially the ones not trying to run me off the road or waste our resources.
But I mean, really: "Love it or leave it" fascism is just sooo 20th century.
YL,
That last comment wasn't from me.
I get what you are saying. I wish that Toyota had placed some of their Prius technology into their Tacoma. I wouldn't be able to afford it, but I wish that we were making those moves.
Again, I hope to commute on a scooter and use my truck for other situations. I recently found a scooter, now I just need to negotiate the price.
YL, you make some good points and the numbers are telling. The fact of the matter is that I use the capacity and capabilities of an SUV, I only had a little cash to work with, and I hope to use the truck in conjuntion with a scooter.
I'm sorry that I'm the bad guy. I have been a bicycle commuter in the past and I feel what you are saying about the wider berth. As a cyclist, I give cyclist extra room when passing. I know that I'm the exception and not the rule for SUV drivers. Anyhow, I welcome all the criticism, keeps me honest.
I figured it wasn't you, Matt, and I don't think you're a bad guy for the decision you've made. Like I said, you're actually thinking about the impact of an SUV, which is a good start. You're obviously not the who thinks he needs a Hummer to pick up a gallon of milk. Autos and SUVs just happen to be my hot-button issue, so I'm always overager to engage people on the topic.
This discussion is probably straying from where Mikal intended, but I'm counting on him to referee if things get out of hand and I'm lured into juvenile name-calling again. :)
Whatever you two-lettered freak! I'm repin' the wild, wild West! Just kidding.
YL, I feel you. Trust me. I used to be a very regular bike commuter in college. I would be today, if I felt that I could safely make it home from work. Currently, I live 7.7 miles from work and my return trip would occur at 10:30 PM on a busy urban highway with some VERY, poorly lit sections. I'm simply not willing to assume the risk of travel by bike at that hour, on that roadway. Also, the ride would take place during 'cruising' hours on Friday and Saturday nights, which is just asking for trouble from ignorant, hick teenagers. Again, risk I'm not willing to assume.
The scooter will at least allow me to keep pace with traffic, therefore exposing me to fewer possible incidents. As a cyclist, I'm sure you can empathize with the ignorance of many motorists when it comes to 'sharing the road.' That's a great slogan, but rarely followed.
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