April 30, 2004
FOUR FOR (FRIENDS) FRIDAY
Q: Last night marked the second to last episode of the hit NBC television show, Friends. Do you plan on watching next week's series finale, or are you more interested in the lesser-touted final episode of Fraiser? Or could you care less either way?
Q: My friend Christina is getting married this September 18th. Any words of advice as she enters her last summer as a single woman? How about tips or tricks for making it thru the last few months of the wedding planning season?
Q: My friend Matt closed on his first house yesterday afternoon (pictures available here). Any words of advice or encouragement for the first-time home owner?
Q: A couple of other friends are flirting on the edge of starting a long-distance relationship. How about advice or thoughts for those crazy enough to put it all on the line... the phone lines, the train lines, and the long lines at the airports... all in the name of love?
Posted by Mikal at April 30, 2004 5:08 AM
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1. Who's Fraiser and why is there a show about Friends? Didn't they do that already, and call it Sienfeld?
2. I've never been married, but I've heard about two of my father's marraiges failing. Make sure that your man keeps his spine; he'll need it for Christina to be happy. Make sure to have fun. They need to be best friends, first.
3. Um...this one is me. All I've got is, make everyone take their shoes off and change the air filters frequently until construction is completed on the buildings around me.
4. Ohhhh...I've never had much luck in this one. Be careful that the distance doesn't break them financially. Keep the big picture in focus. If they end up together, they'll appreciate having those funds available for co-location expenses.
1. Neither, I'll be watching Survivor!
2. Relax and don't obsess about wedding details. And definitely don't spend so much money on the wedding! Remember the most important part of the wedding is what happens in the years after, not on the day itself. Take care of yourself, eat right and exercise. Resist the notion that this one day, and all the details that a huge commercial industry making millions off brides is trying to sell you, is what creates marital bliss.
3. Congrats, Matt! Wow, you're almost an adult now! No advice, but what a great pic on your condo page. Been working out lately?
4. Hmmm....wonder who these friends are?
1. I haven't been watching Friends at all this season, but I did watch it last night and will most likely watch the final episode. We all know Rachel and Ross will end up together. I haven't watched Fraiser in a long time, so I don't really care about it.
2. Live it up Christina! Enjoy your last months of being "single". And remember, a marriage is not about the wedding day, but all the days that come after it. I wish you tons of happiness, love, and fun. Good luck!
3. Congratulations, Matt. I wish I owned my own home. Enjoy it and be sure to have lots of parties with your friends to celebrate your new place.
4. Just gotta take the chance. All of life is a risk.
1. I used to like Friends in College, but now I could care less. I don't have time (or I don't make time) to watch those crazy shows now.
2. Elope! If that doesn't work, go to http://www.beverlychurch.com for all of your wedding entertaining needs.
3. Hmm, not a homeowner, so don't have much for you there. Since you are not building a Yurt or an Earth Ship, I would highly suggest getting solar panels. Get your ecological groove on as a homeowner.
4. Ok, I have to say I am an expert in this arena. 1) Don't call it a long distance relationship, call it "Adventure Dating". 2) Practice random acts of kindness and send small homemade gifts (a card, collage of your adventures, etc.) for no apparent reason. 3) Talk on the phone every day. Sound expensive? Get cell phones and take advantage of the free long distance and free minute time periods. 4) When you do meet in person, make those times very special. Go out to a nice restaurant, plan ahead and do fun and adventurous things, and don't just meet up in your hometowns - meet up in random cities. 5) Communicate, communicate, communicate. After all, you have a lot of time on the phone and over email, so take advantage of it. Learn as much about each other as you can. Not only the good stuff, but the fears, anxieties, etc. Talking about that stuff gets everything on the table and then the things you were most worried about seem small and frivolous.
1. I could care less about "must see Thursday night tv." I have never watched Friends or Fraiser. I am usually in dream land by then.
2. Donít sweat the small stuff, obsessing too much over the tiny details (which will mean absolutely nothing to you five years from now) will only take away from the beautiful reason that you are taking the vows in the first place. Remember that this day is for you and your partner...not the people you are putting the show on for.
3. Keep a daily running list on your fridge of things that you find wrong with the house: nail pops, loose carpet, paint speckles on the floor, etc. They will fix them all on your 6-month inspection, if you do not keep a list you will forget at least half the items. I learned that lesson the hard way.
4. I have had a couple long-distance relationships in my lifetime, and they both worked out quite well. The first was a 5-year relationship, and the second was a 10-year relationship that resulted in a marriage. You have to be very trusting, very loyal, and you have to be willing to put in the time on the road.
1. Yes, I plan to watch the final episode of friends. What's this Frasier show? Must be on some extra channel that I don't receive with basic cable.
2. Don't listen to the advice given to you by various people. You know what's best for you.
3. Very cool. Congrats! No words of advice.. I still rent.
4. With today's technologies, long distance relationships are probably easier than in the past. BUT.. there's still something oh so sweet about being able to hold hands and being kissed.
1. I used to watch friends, but got bored of the same love trangle for however so many years. The end result is the same: Ross and Rachel will end up together.
2. Mikal you are so sweet to put this in for me! I am Christina...and he is so very right. I fret everyday about those "needless things". My fiance and I go back and forth on the wedding plans. Me being the woman has obviously had this day planned out since birth. Now with reality knocking on my door and a fiance who tries to comfort me that I am sweating the small stuff for just one day vs. the rest of our lives together. I just want him to see me that day and his only thought be "wow...she is the most beautiful person to me and I'm marrying her!"...so of course my head is in fairy tale land.. My other concern is just my own indecisiveness..I usually end up making a decision, but later hate the choice I made...so of course I go back and forth on everything constantly! Thank you all for your kind words and advice!
3. As I work in real estate, my words to you: "prepare for the worst, and hope for the best." (thank you Bob for this quote!) Things will always break down when you least expect it and when money is usually tight. Always have a savings for those unexpected problems. I would suggest getting a Home Warranty, understand your Condo Associations warranty/rules, and remember that when it rains, it pours. Follow regular maintenance on all your appliances, this will help you in avoiding sudden repairs. Most importantly take good care of everything because one day you are going to want to sell and buyer's are just a complete pain in the a** when they nit pic everything! Good luck and congratulations!
4. Ditto with Ford Church I think that entry is on the money.
1 - Watching Survivor.
2 - Don't do it!
3 - Look into the resale value.
4 - Don't do it!
1. I don't watch Friends. Actually, I don't watch TV at all, so I guess I don't care.
2. Don't stress. Have a beer :)
3. I don't own a house so all I can say is, good luck!
4. All the long distance relationships I have ever observed never worked out.
1. If Friends had ended itís run two years ago, while the show was still in its prime, when the storylines and characters were still fresh and authentic, Iíd probably be more supportive and interested in the final episode. Dollars clearly got in the way of this show ending while it still had legs. The cast, the showís producers, and NBC are all to blame for the oil of entitlement that has been greasing the Friendsí machine these past two years. With forced acting and ridiculous scenarios, I think Iíll pass on Thursdayís finale. Fraiser, on the other hand, is still a great show. Itís timing is impeccable, and Iím certainly going to be watching its final episodes.
2. Having never been married before, I donít feel all that qualified to dole out advice. But some of the things that others have shared seem to make a lot sense to me, such asÖ ìRemember, the most important part of the wedding is what happens in the years after, not on the day itselfî Ö ìa marriage is not about the wedding day, but all the days that come after itî Ö ìDonít sweat the small stuff, obsessing too much over the tiny details (which will mean absolutely nothing to you five years from now) will only take away from the beautiful reason that you are taking the vows in the first placeî Ö and, ìbest friends, first.î
3. Be really proud of what youíve accomplished, and donít be afraid to get the carpet dirty.
4. In addition to everything my good friend Ford suggests, Iíll toss inÖ believe in possibilities and allow yourselves the freedom to dream; have a vivid imagination; keep your insecurities in check; e-mail and IM are good but donít let those modes of communication totally replace letters, cards, and care packages; and, once things progress to where it makes senseÖ continually explore ways in which you can permanently be together, if thatís what you both want.
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