June 4, 2004
FOUR FOR FIRDAY
Q: Actress Gwyneth Paltrow and hubby Chris Martin, lead singer of the band Coldplay, recently gave birth to a 9 lb. 11 oz. girl they named "Apple" (Apple Blythe Alison Martin, to be more exact). How do you feel about unconventional names such as the one Paltrow and Martin bestowed upon their bouncing baby girl? Do you feel their appropriate, inappropriate, a hoot, no big deal, place the child at a disadvantage in any way, etc.?
Q: Tradition tells us that in the United States and much of the western world, when a man and woman marry, the woman takes the man's last name. How do you feel about this? What about couples who combine last names in order to create a new one, or who choose to start off fresh with some random last name?
Q: If you were told you had to change your first name, what name would you choose?
Q: Have you ever had a nickname? If so, what was (or is) it? If not, have you ever wanted one (and if so, what would you like to be called)?
Posted by Mikal at June 4, 2004 6:55 AM
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1. I think the name Apple is adorable! There are way too many Johns, Michaels, Stephanies, etc. in the world and I think it is great to think up an original name... as long as it isn't Candy or Bambi! I also like reverse sex names, such as Tyler or Charli for a girl. As far as children getting picked on in grade school for their name... to be honest, I have a very normal name, and kids still found a way to tease me (Christina Hyena).
2. Good question. As I am getting married in a few months... this has been weighing HEAVILY on me. My current last name "flows" with my first name, however, my married name will not. My real dilemma however once I get married, my family name has ended. Since my brother never married or had children, our family name will never carry on. That is important to me that it does. So I hope to be able to use it as my son's middle name should I have one. As for a woman having to take the man's name in marriage? I'm not to happy for that... it makes me feel like I have to be submissive and "thankful" that they actually WANT to marry me. I like the idea of creating a new last name... how cool would that be?
3. I like my middle name a lot... it's Noel and I think it's more interesting. I do like French names for girls and Italian names for boys. However, when the day is done... my parents did a pretty good job with naming all of us.
4. I have threenicknames that have followed me through life. My daddy's nickname for me is Crissytuna...or Tuttifruitti..(don't ask why because I don't even know!) and my GOOD friends call me ACE. As to why the name ACE? Well, only me and my good friends know.
1. Parents have the right to name their kids whatever they want to. I think people are sometimes shocked when a child is given an unconventional name. While I wouldn't go so far as to name my child Apple, I think it's nice to have a different name, especially if it has a special meaning behind it. But, you just know little Apple is going to be teased. If you think about it though, what does any name really mean? Maybe to her parents the name Apple had significance, who knows? You can be darn sure I won't be naming any of my children after fruits or vegetables. I tend to like more classic names.
2. Well, I really like my last name, but when I get married I will take my husband's name and use my maiden name as my middle name (since my parents didn't give me one). It's a personal decision. For me, I like to have everyone in the family have the same last name, it's more cohesive. The only time I might not take my husband's name is if it were "unattractive" in any way (I've seen some people with the last name "Butt." See what I mean?) In that case, maybe we'd change it altogether or use my last name.
3. Not sure what I would change my first name to. I like my name. Have to think about that one.
4. Missy is my nickname; always has been since I was a kid, and only my family and close friends call me by this name. Other nicknames over the years have been: Rambo; Romonster; Mouse; and other family names that will go unmentioned. Nicknames are fun and endearing, the family has given my nieces and nephews tons of them!
1. I thought the name was a little strange, but in my family (brothers Rock and Britt) who am I to say? Names are something that grow on you. I hated my name as a child and I love it now. I was called Cinderella (not in a nice way) and get a long home Cindy Cindy... so if kids are going to be mean, they don't need a name, it just helps.
2. I was glad to take a different name. My maiden name was too darn long. But I think it is personal preference. Working with computers and education I caution against joint last names. Most forms are not set up for that. If your child ends up marrying someone with two last names and they want to keep theirs, the children will have 4 last names... when will the madness stop! It's the end of the school year... pardon my momentary lapse. I really don't care what people do with their names.
3. Change it to Cindratee! Ha ha!
4. I always wanted a "cutsie" nickname when I was going through that "cutsie" pre-teen stage. I snapped out of it and am content to answer to anything now. My son calls me "warden." I think that is my favorite nickname because he says it with love.
1. Seems to have worked out for Dweezil, Moon Unit and Ahmet. Give the poor child something to be teased about that will distract the bullies from the fact that her father sang for Coldplay, or that she has two middle names. (Now that I think of it, with four names she doesn't *have* a middle name. She has a first name, a last name, a just-before-middle name and a just-after-middle name. Cruel parents indeed.)
2. I'm wary of the tradition, which reeks of mild misogyny. Personally, I'd be happy to take the woman's name, but I have other reasons to do that. Combining names appeals to me, so long as the result is euphonic and sensical. (Avoid the situation from the "Silver Spoons" episode where Rick and Derrick combined their names and dubbed their partnership "Derrick's"). Anything but hyphenation. Why tempt geometric progression?
3. Apple
4. "YL," for Young Luke. "Y," for short.
1. I think having unique names is pretty fun. As far as putting a child at a disadvantage, well, it's just a name. Sure the kid might get teased a little, but who didn't teased in grade school for one reason or another.
2. I think each option is fine, and it really depends on the couple. As I started thinking about what my friends have done, and I realized that I know one woman who kept her name, one guy who added his wifes name (with hyphen), and a few women that took their husbands last name. As far as I'm concerned, to each his/or her own!
3. I'd pretty something "pretty".. Katerina, Isabella, Opal.. I mean come on, there were like 20 girls named Lori in my class in high school.
4. No nicknames that I'd dare post for the world to see!:-) But, you can call me "SuperGirl" if you like.. :-)
1. I am always attracted to unique names, but when it comes down to it I don't think I would actually name my kid something OUT there. I generally like classic names...something strong. Something not to be ashamed of once you are an adult...or even as a kid for that matter. I do like alternate spellings of "regular" names, but I fear in the end that leads to mispronunciations when having to be read aloud. Having a unique last name that no one can pronounce correctly I know that pain.
2. Goes back to the last name I have. I can't stand it. No one can say it or spell it. I have waited my whole life to take someone else's last name. I always had a fear though that my husband's last name would be worse than mine. Luckily, in less than a year I will be getting married and I like his last name! :-)
3. Hmmm that is a hard one. I like the name Gwynevere and people usually call me Jennifer anyways. Gwynevere is french for Jennifer. I am not to fond of Gwyn or Gwynnie. I also have always loved Olivia as name. And as strange as it is I like the name Veda (like in the movie My girl). I always thought that would be the coolest name to have.
4. Yes I have had almost too many nicknames. Most people call me by my last name, Blueher. This is because there are 1,000 Jessica's in the world. My dad has called me Jake all my life. Not really sure where that came from, but to this day he still refers to me as Jake. And I still respond like it is truly my name. When my friends hear it they laugh and I don't really catch on they are giggling at my nickname. I kinda like it though..because it is endearing from my dad. The first nickname I remember having in elementary school is Big Bird. I was really tall as a young girl. So I towered over everyone. And I had blonde, feathered hair. All lending to the big bird theme. There are many variations of Jessica that people use today:
- Dekida
- Jessiqua
- Ca (pronounced kuh)
- Cacada
- Jess
1. Apple is okay, it's not as bad as some other names. I think the worst parents can do with their kids' names is to take a traditional name and "creatively" spell it.
2. People can do whatever they wish with their last names--there are pros and cons for each option. Personally, I'd keep my last name for career reasons.
3. I would put one of those French accents over one of the vowels in my name. That technically counts as a change.
4. Grendel.
1. I'm OK with unique names like Apple, although I'd do my best not to pick something that rhymes with a sexual organ. No child of mine will be named Regina. I like the idea of recycling family names.
2. I don't care for it. I've never had any desire to give up my name, and it pains me that my sisters have done it, though those choices belong to them. My girlfriend tells me that she'd like to take my name when we have children so that we can all have the same name. I'd never ask her to do that, but it's a lovely gesture. My dad doesn't have sons, and it's the only way my family name will live past me.
3. I'm pretty fond of my name, but if I had to choose, I guess Emma. I love that name.
4. Most of my friends and family call me Mel.
Q1. I think itís a cute name. Then again, Iím also trying to talk my friend into naming his baby daughter Amber Fields.
Q2. I kept my last name. I was almost 30 when I married, and I didnít feel the need to change it at this stage of my life. There is nothing special or unique about my last name, but itís mine and I am rather fond of it. I knew going in, that we werenít going to have any children (which would be the only reason I would take another name), so fortunately it wasnít an issue to either of us.
Q3. Princess Angela Queen of the Forest
Q4. Chilat. My gram started calling me this when I was 2 years old, and unfortunately it stuck with me. It is short for enchilada (I hated it with a passion for years), but now when I hear it, it makes me smile, because I know that my favorite 75 1/2 year young grandmother is on the other end of it with a great big hug. :-)
1. While I have no problem with the name, I wouldn't choose to name my children something that I myself could say without laughing or sneering.
2. I'm a fan of starting fresh by either combining names or coming up with a new one.
3. I'd go with Digby.
4. I've had a few... "Jelly Belly," "Poindexter," and "Biff."
1 - "Apple" does give one pause, but at least it is pretty. Ugly names aren't nice to give to children, and you often wonder about the future of children with stripper names. Names become part of a person, eventually. Those with weird names will at some point want normal names and those with normal names will want weird ones, but they grow to accept what they have because it is, after all part of their identity. That, or they change their name to match what they see as their identity, like people who convert to Islam, or take pseudonyms for whatever reason.
Which leads to:
2 - The woman should keep her own name because it is part of her. Some say that her changing her name shows her new identity and her committment to the marriage. Well, then, does the man have the same identity and no committment to the marriage. The name change for women, after all, is a hold over of patriarchy and the idea of woman as property. Combination of last names actually would fit the concept of new identity and committment, more so than choosing a new one which has no connection to either spouse.
3 - My name is pretty cool - first, middle, and last...and it is mine.
4 - "Bitch" has been pretty popular, as has been "Pain in the Ass."
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