August 19, 2004
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT
Each Wednesday night I attend what I affectionately refer to as Fat Class, the once a week educational session associated with my participation in Lifestyle Strategies of Indiana's lifestyle and weight management counseling program for central Indiana. Last night was no different, and as is the case with each week's class, we were given a homework assignment to work on in preparation for the following week's session. Rather than pull what I always pull--complete the assignment not on paper but in my head--I figured I'd be a bit more accountable this week by writing out my work and sharing it with a few people who might like to help keep me accountable to my overall goals. So, without further adieu, this week's assignment:
PHYSICAL ACTIVITY: Are You Exercise Hesitant?
Comment on each of the following statements:
I am positive I "should" be exercising: Without question, yes, this statement applies to me. I am absolutely convinced that if I do not exercise I will gain weight and start to feel bad about myself again. My goal, originally, was to drop 40 lbs. and keep it off until at least my 40th birthday (see my 40 x 40 posting for more info on my weight and health-related goals). Well on my way towards meeting that goal, I now have a new one... I want to be able to eat whatever it is that I'd like to have, AND maintain my current weight loss and look and feel. Without regular exercise, I don't think either goal is realistic or attainable.
I am positive that I need to exercise to look like society says I should: I'm motivated more by how I feel about myself than by how anyone else thinks I look or should look. There's nothing worse than not being able to bend over to tie my shoes and not being able to breath while doing so. That was me as recently as just one year ago. Today, I am way more comfy in my own skin than at anytime since high school. Society did not make me gain weight, and it certainly hasn't motivated me to take it off or to keep it off. I'm way more of a critic when it comes to myself than anyone else is.
I have been pushed into exercise by others who had their own agenda; possibly, they wanted me to have fun or to lose weight: If only I'd been so lucky; but no, no one has ever pushed me into exercising.
As a child I felt pressure to perform in athletics: Nope, not me. I was lucky... my Mom let me do whatever sorts of athletic activity I wanted to, and never once did she pressure me about my participation or lack thereof. As a kid, I was very active with basketball, tennis, and bicycle riding/racing, and never once did my Mom apply pressure of any kind.
I have perfectionist tendencies and believe that "if I can't do it right, I won't do it at all": Yes and no. Yes, I am a perfectionist; no, if I can not do something correctly I'll give it up. That's last part's just not me. I tend to be an optimistic perfectionist :o)
In the past, I typically exercised only when dieting. When I quit dieting, I usually quit exercising: This one certainly rings true. "Exercise" to me is still somewhat synonymous with going to the gym (which, at times, I look upon as a chore), whereas playing tennis, which is certainly a form of exercise, has never felt chore-like (quite the opposite, I love to play tennis). But more to the point, yes, in the past, when I quit 'dieting' I simultaneously would quit exercising. The two seemed to go hand-in-hand. Nowadays, I'm all about maintaining the weight I've dropped over the past year. I no longer 'diet' per se but I still exercise, which as I said before does tend to feel a little bit like a chore.
I have been injured while exercising, and the whole idea of it scares me: Yes and Yes! I've been injured while exercising, and as recently as last December I injured myself to the point where I had to stop lifting weights all together for around 60 days or so. Because my goal is to be able to eat whatever I want, yet still maintain my weight loss, I need to be able to add exercise into my daily routine in order to balance out my caloric intake. If I were shelved because of an injury, well, I'd no longer be able to eat whatever I wanted, and that would suck, quite frankly. Answering this question sort of highlights the fact that I'm placing a lot of my 'maintenance' eggs into one basket.
I have exercised primarily as a way to lose weight: Yes, I have, but now I exercise to maintain the weight that I have lost.
I was almost always the last one picked for team sports: Nope, but I wasn't always picked first either. Growing up I was a real skinny kid, but I had some mad skillzs, so it was all good. Besides, I mostly played tennis and raced bicycles, both of which are individually-based sports.
If I miss a day or two of my exercise routine, I usually feel like I've blown it, and it is hard for me to get going again: How'd you know? Yep; this is me to a tee. I feel best and tend to achieve my desires more so when I remain consistent by sticking with my exercise routine. Having a workout partner helps, which is something I've been lacking as of late. That sort of accountability really works for me.
I often feel intimidated by exercise, the equipment, or the fancy moves in aerobics: No, yes, and yes. Exercise, which to me is walking, running, or time spent on an Elliptical trainer, does not intimidate me. Free weights, machine weights, and aerobic classes... well, those are whole nother story. The free weights scare me because of the unwieldy nature of the movements. One wrong move and I'm done for. The machines don't scare me as much, but I'm always concerned about pulling something. As for aerobics, faggettaboutit... I'm way too uncoordinated for that sort of stuff (but I do enjoy watching :o)
I often feel rejected by friends, family, or society because of the size or shape of my body: While I've never felt rejected by friends or family, I did project a societal rejection my way, but not anymore!
I feel bad about my body and on some level believe that the less that I move, the less attention I call to my body: Nope. Not anymore!
I think others dislike my body, so I move less to call less attention to myself: I honestly have no idea what most people think about my body. A few friends have taken notice and made comments, but 'others' in general, I have no idea what they think, and frankly, so long as I'm happy and okay with what I look like, that's all that matters now. These days, I'm happy and okay with my look and feel, and I give myself appropriate credit for what I've accomplished.
I have used exercise as an external measure of self-worth: I'll have to think some about this one. Honestly, I'm not sure that I completely understand the statement.
I have used exercise as 'punishment': Me; no way! My self-punishment is always internalized.
I have forced myself to exercise when I ate too much or didn't lose enough weight: Without an exercise partner in tow, it seems like I'm always 'forcing' myself to exercise. Don't get me wrong though... I don't look at it as punishment or something that I do not enjoy doing. It's the getting started part that sucks, but once I get five or ten minutes into my routine, I'm totally psyched to be there.
Posted by Mikal at August 19, 2004 5:41 AM
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My answers:
I am positive I "should" be exercising: Yes. I feel bad when I look bad, and I look bad when I don't exercise.
I am positive that I need to exercise to look like society says I should: Yes. In today's society if you are a woman, and not a size 4, you are considered overweight.
I have been pushed into exercise by others who had their own agenda; possibly, they wanted me to have fun or to lose weight: Yes. Unfortunately I have been, but unless you are doing it for yourself, it only leads to feelings of inadequacy.
As a child I felt pressure to perform in athletics: No. My parents were supportive of any extracurricular activities that I wanted to participate in, but never pushed or pressured me about anything.
I have perfectionist tendencies and believe that "if I can't do it right, I won't do it at all": Yes and no. I have perfectionist tendencies, but if I can't do it right, I keep trying until I can. :o)
In the past, I typically exercised only when dieting. When I quit dieting, I usually quit exercising: Most definitely. The two go hand-in-hand with me, which is bad, bad, bad.
I have been injured while exercising, and the whole idea of it scares me: No, not at all. I have been injured while exercising, but I always get back on the horse w/o hesitation.
I have exercised primarily as a way to lose weight: Yes. But I will never be satisfied with my weight.
I was almost always the last one picked for team sports: Nope. Usually always in the top two or three.
If I miss a day or two of my exercise routine, I usually feel like I've blown it, and it is hard for me to get going again: Yes. I usually feel like the week has already been shot, so I have a tendency to blow off the rest of the week and start over on Monday. Ugh.
I often feel intimidated by exercise, the equipment, or the fancy moves in aerobics: I feel intimidated by the people at the gym, never the equipment or fancy moves.
I often feel rejected by friends, family, or society because of the size or shape of my body: No, not so much the feeling of rejection, but I often feel as if I am being judged.
I feel bad about my body and on some level believe that the less that I move, the less attention I call to my body: Yes and No. I feel bad about my body, but I believe that people will notice me whether I am 115 or 150 pounds.
I think others dislike my body, so I move less to call less attention to myself: Stupid question.
I have used exercise as an external measure of self-worth:: Yes.
I have used exercise as 'punishment': Quite often. It's mental.
I have forced myself to exercise when I ate too much or didn't lose enough weight: Yes. It's a daily struggle. :)
