September 25, 2004
I'M SORRY
For the past 10 days, we Jews have been observing The High Holy Days... a deeply reflective time in which we examine our relationships with other human beings (and with God, too, I suppose), and attempt to right past wrongs and ask forgiveness for wrongs we have committed, both intentional and unintentional. The High Holidays officially started this year on September 16th with Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), and they end this evening at sundown (6:37 p.m. here in Indianapolis) with the winding down of Yom Kippur (The Day of Atonement).
Many people have heard that on Yom Kippur--which is today--some Jews choose to fast, i.e., not eat any food for around 25 hours or so, which is exactly what I'm in the midst of right now. The intention of fasting, we were told as children, is not to torture ourselves or to punish ourselves for the sins we have committed. Rather, fasting is supposed to help us to transcend our physical natures. We were told as children that praying without concern for food allows us to completely focus on the prayers.
Well, for me, ever since I was old enough to create meaning for myself, the fasting has served as an intense reminder of all that I have done wrong in the past year. The fasting encourages my prayers and reminds me that I am not perfect and that I must hold myself accountable for my own misdeeds.
This past year has been a remarkable one. I've had the opportunity to interact with, and be a part of, so many different lives and their associated stories. For some, I was a positive influence... I was someone who was fully engaged and supportive. For others, well, quite frankly, I was not.
If I offended you over the last year with any of my actions or words, please accept my apology. I'm a work in progress, and some days, especially today, I wonder when the work will be done so that I and all of those around me may finally have a little bit of peace and quiet.
As always, thanks for reading and for being a part of my life, as well as for allowing me to be a part of yours. Sincerely, if I have upset anyone, please know that I am sorry and that I am committed to being more mindful of all of my actions (and reactions, too).
Posted by Mikal at September 25, 2004 9:05 AM
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