October 13, 2005
ONCE AGAIN, I'M SORRY
As I wrote around this same last year, for the past 10 days or so, Jewish people all across the globe have been observing what is commonly referred to as The High Holy Days... a time of year when Jews are meant to reflect upon and examine the relationship they have with God (and with other human beings, too), and where we attempt to right past wrongs, as well as ask for forgiveness for the intentional and unintentional wrongs we know weíve committed. This year's version of The High Holidays officially kicked into high gear on the 4th of October with the marking of Rosh Hashanah (that's the Jewish New Year, by the way), and ends this evening at sundown (6:07 p.m. here in Indy) with the winding down of Yom Kippur, otherwise known as The Day of Atonement.
Many people have heard that Jews choose to fast i.e., not eat any food for around 24+ hours or so, on Yom Kippur, which is exactly what I'm in the midst of doing this morning (no food, only water--and a diet Dr. Pepper--since I went to gym and then a class at around 1:30 p.m. yesterday afternoon).
As a child, I was taught that the intention of fasting was not to torture or punish myself for the sins I committed. Rather, fasting was supposed to help me to transcend my physical nature so that I could connect with the most unselfish aspect of myself. I was also taught that praying without concern for food would allow me to completely focus on my prayers.
Well, to be honest about it, for me, ever since I was old enough to create meaning for myself, the fasting (read: the extreme hunger) has served as an intense reminder of all that I have done wrong in the past year, and thatís exactly why I choose to do it. The fasting encourages my ëprayersí (for lack of a better word), and reminds me that I must hold myself accountable for all of my actions, misdeeds included.
As I shared last year, these last 12 months has been remarkable ones. I've had the opportunity to interact with, and be a part of, so many different lives. For most, I know for certain that I was a positive influence... I was someone who was fully-engaged and supportive. For others though, well, quite frankly, I'm sure I was not.
So here it is (and I assure you that just because this is being shared in such an open forum, these words are not hollow ones)... If I offended you over the last year with any of my actions, motives, or words, please accept my apology. I'm a work in progress, and some days, especially today, I wonder if the work will ever be done.
As always, thanks for reading this post, as well as for being a part of my life, and for allowing me to be a part of yours. Sincerely, if I have upset anyone, please know that I am sorry and that I am committed to being more mindful of all of my actions (and reactions, too).
Posted by Mikal at October 13, 2005 8:04 AM
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"Sorry" is easy to place in print. I understand your thoughts, i think you meant them.
Once upon a time, my Father said to be careful what you place in print because "the words" follow you. At the time, I thought he was right right. After living and writing and being... and the internet... I realize words are are fleeting and are much easier placed than put into action.
I mean no harm by placing "my words" here/or anywhere, but just putting things in "Black and White" does not erase the past. People need to live what they do and did... learn from mistakes{make IT a positive}... folks need to stop saying they are sorry... ya have to remember yesterday, forget{learn!} and smile because of the difference.
Hope your "High Holy Days"... are meaningful... best to you and your's
