October 20, 2005
AMERICAN POLITICS: IT'S A LOT LIKE PIZZA TOPPINGS
I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday afternoon using Skype (very cool and useful technology, by the way). Christoph--who was one of my roommates when I lived in Boulder, Colorado, and now lives in Muenchen, Germany--asked me the following question:
"Why did so many people vote for Bush a year ago, and now why do so many people feel he's doing a bad job, and why is he still in office?"
My answer? "Oh, it's quite simple actually... politics in the USA is a lot like pizza.î
"What's that supposed to mean," Christoph asked.
Well, think of the people who voted for George W. Bush as being the type of folks who like meat toppings on their pizza, while those who voted for John Kerry are strict vegetarians, opting instead for veggie only toppings on theirs.
Now, while it's true that more voters opted for the meat toppings in the last round of elections--and that nearly a year later the meat pizza they ordered doesn't taste as good as the one they'd previously ordered--being meat eaters, these citizen voters are choosing to stick with the meat topping.
You see, no matter how rancid their meat pizza may taste or how sick it may make them or the people they feed it to, to the meat toppers, all they can bring themselves to do is call the waiter over and complain about the taste of their pizza. Never, hardly ever, does it occur to them to actually order another type of pizza, especially a vegetarian one. Even though the vegetarian pizza may be better for them (and the rest of us, I might add), the majority of people who make the decision about what pizza topping should be ordered, like the meat pizza so much that they're willing to eat it slice after slice after slice, inducing massive doses of food poisoning, day after day after day after day.
So...
- Why did so many people vote a Bush a year ago? Because, simply stated, they like meat pizza. Also, it didn't help vegetarian's cause any that it didn't give the voters a compelling reason to order it instead of the meat pizza.
- Why do so many people feel Bush is doing a bad job now? Because they're finally experiencing the symptoms of food poisoning... mainlyÖ nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, dizziness (lots of dizziness), fainting, rapid heart rate, and of course, diarrhea.
- Why is President Bush still in office? Because pizza lovers have an inherent need to be right about, well, everything, especially the toppings they choose for their pizza. If they get to be right, that means everyone who disagrees with them gets to be wrong.
Right verses wrong, that's how it works here in the USA, and it's not just the meat eaters who play this game. The vegetarian's do the exact same thing... they hold press conference after press conference complaining about how bad the meat toppings are for you, hardly ever acknowledging proteinís role in a well rounded diet.
If you ask me, Christoph, US citizens eat way too much pizza, both of the meat and vegetarian varieties. For some reason, we're committed in our belief that two toppings--both of which are on extreme opposite sides of the menu--are all that we need to choose from. God forbid we choose to add low-calorie options to the menu like salads and soups, or more heart-healthy choices like fish and chicken.
Here in the USA, peopleís eyes are bigger than their plates, and regardless of how sick or overweight they may become, voters have been conditioned to believe that they absolutely have to finish what's on their plates.
Posted by Mikal at October 20, 2005 8:28 AM
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