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January 31, 2004

ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN

Each year, millions of dogs are taken by their owners to animal shelters all across the United States. The majority, close to 4 million, will end up spending the rest of their lives in cages or will be euthanized. These topics and others are the focus of Shelter Dogs, a new documentary which I caught on TV this afternoon.

Filmed over the course of 24 months, Shelter Dogs follows the owner of an upstate New York dog shelter as she and her staff navigate a world in which there are no simple solutions, and where many decisions often involve real life-and-death situations.

Truth be known, I've been overdue for a long and sustained cry, and Shelter Dogs certainly did the trick. I wept endlessly throughout the hour and fifteen minute documentary, which profiles around 10 different dogs, of which three were euthanized. The ones that made it were placed in great permanent homes. But the three that were put down cause troubling dilemmas surrounding important issues for shelters and society as a whole. For instance, if a dog consistently bites, is it ethical to adopt him or her out to the general public? If a dog aggressively guards his or her food, to the point where it snaps at anyone who approaches, can he or she be trusted in a family with children? And what about the dogs who never find homes... is it more humane for them to spend the rest of their lives in a shelter or to euthanize them?

Shelter Dogs tackles these questions and others in a tremendously dignified and compelling way. I highly recommend it to anyone who may be considering getting a dog for the first time, as well as to anyone in need of a heartwarming cry.

Posted by Mikal at 11:45 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 30, 2004

FOUR FOR FRIDAY

Q: If when you got to work today, someone told you that you and all of your co-workers had been given a mandatory day off, what would you do with your day?

Q: The Super Bowl will be on CBS this coming Sunday afternoon/evening. Which are you most looking forward toÖ the game itself, the half-time show, the commercials, or back-to-back episodes of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy on NBC?

Q: Do you plan to participate in any sort of competitive events this year, e.g., foot race (5K, 10K, Half-Marathon, etc.), cooking contest, tennis tournament, softball or volleyball league, competitive choir, writing contest, art contest, etc.?

Q: If you could be any animal on earth for 24 hours, which animal do you think youíd choose to be?

Posted by Mikal at 5:06 AM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

January 29, 2004

My friend Julie, who I met while working in the adventure travel industry back in Colorado, is always e-mailing me these really great jokes and stories. On days when I need a smile, Julieís messages really do the job. Hereís a great example:

There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at around 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors, and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery--why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays. So a world-wide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ICU ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off any possible evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00 a.m., Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday janitor, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view of everyone, a killer whale ate them both.

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Two animal rights protesters were protesting over the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

A terrorist, some guy named Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back marked "return to sender." Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

January 28, 2004

David Kay has been a major figure in the situation with Iraq for years. He was a chief inspector for the United Nations when that organization had weapons inspectors on the ground in Iraq, and he headed up the United States' effort to find those very same weapons during our own assault in Iraq. But over the last few days, since Kay quit his post, he has said that he thinks it's highly unlikely that weapons of mass destruction will ever be found in Iraq. Does anyone still care about this issue?

The Bush administration has worked hard over the last few months to minimize the importance of the weapons of mass destruction issue, which was once cited as a major reason for our going into Iraq. Just the other day, when asked about it, the President pointed to other issues, and talked about the general danger that Saddam Hussein presented.

There's no question that Saddam Hussein was a ruthless dictator, and that the world is better off without him. But a nagging question persists. How could everyone have been so wrong about the WMDs? If Kay and others are right and the weapons don't exist, why didn't any of the intelligence agencies pick up on that?

This will likely be a major issue in the coming Presidential election. The Democrats certainly want to make it one, and the Bush administration just hopes that it will go away. Should it be an issue, or is what's done done, and now it's time to focus on the future? What do you think?

January 27, 2004

Last week our Nation celebrated and protested the 31st anniversary of the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court Decision. This particular legal, moral, and ethical "battle" has been raging for pro-lifers and pro-choicers seeking to communicate their message since 1973. Long have I been a pro-life supporter; not only because I'm Catholic, (that does explain my position though) but because it is, I believe, "the" moral objective truth. In this posting to the Beli-Blog, however, I've decided to not take to arms my particular position and analysis. Rather, I want to raise questions so that we can generate some constructive and supportive dialogue on what I see as a very pressing, important, and moral human question. My aim here is to hopefully address the accusations, claims, false assumptions, errors in reasoning, and hopes that people hang onto in this grave dilemma. My particular angle and analysis of this issue has been wrapped up in life's dedication to the pro-life movement (BTW Mikal, this never went over very well for me in Boulder), formal studies in world religions, theology, eco-feminism (yes, I studied it like a "madman" to understand potential women of interest so I could communicate in their language), environmental studies, and an advocacy for nature, wilderness, and outdoor recreation.

I realize that normally the Beli-Blog has Q&A time (reminds me of kindergarten) on Friday's, but I really wanted to frame this in such a way that it would invite more to comment on the questions, as opposed to my diatribe (which will come later).

Question #7: What kind of parallels do you see between the animal liberation (equal consideration/rights) and pro-life movements?

January 26, 2004

For the last three weeks or so my weight has hovered right at 175 lbs., which is around a 60 lb. drop since last summer. At this weight I can easily gain five or ten pounds, or even lose five pounds (which might happen when training for a race or something), and continue to be happy with the look and feel. But now comes the tough part--keeping the weight off while NOT exclusively eating the powered meal replacements I receive from the medically-supervised weight loss program I'm enrolled in (Lifestyle Strategies of Indiana).

For the sake of time and convenience, my weekday breakfasts still consist of two or three meal replacement packets in the form of a shake. For lunch I've been having a medium-sized chef's salad without dressing, along with a large serving of mixed/cut fresh fruit (and by large I mean four-plus cups). Weeknight dinners have been either three meal replacement packets in the form of a shake, or some other sensible low fat / low carbohydrate entree (unless it's a Saturday or Sunday evening when there's a good chance I can be found eating pizza with my roommate :-)

On the exercise side of the equation, I continue to do cardio workouts on four out of five weekdays (which burns around 3,000-4,000 calories total), and have finally started to incorporate strength training into the routine. The method I'm following, if anyone's interested, is called High-Intensity Strength Training, which places emphasis on performing one set of each exercise until momentary muscle failure is achieved. In other words, rather than 10-20 reps making up a set, and completing three sets of each weight lifting exercise before moving to the next, I'm doing one exercise very slowly--no jerking motions, no 'last one who finishes is a rotten egg'--to the point where movement of the resistance is no longer possible, which in turn has been scientifically proven to insure that a sufficient stimulus is being achieved.

I'll write more about how this phase of the program is going soon enough, but for now, for anyone who's concerned about my wellbeing, or who gains strength from my own silly little story, please know that I'm moving on, in more ways than one. (Oh, I had another round of blood tests... I'll share those results later this week.)

January 25, 2004

Many Americans don't think twice about the right to vote. In fact, less than half vote in presidential elections. To vote, you must be 18 or older and register with a mailing address & valid signature. Voting is a voluntary activity, just one of several ways to be a productive citizen. Other ways are working, raising a family, paying taxes, being charitable, obeying laws, being a volunteer, and respecting others.

Even if you do all those things, you cannot vote if you have been convicted of a felony. I am one of those persons. I plead guilty to a felony "leaving the scene of an accident" charge stemming from an October 2001 driving accident. I completed a 4-month drug rehab program in the MO Department of Corrections and am on probation for about 4 more years. Because of my status as a felon, I cannot vote. The voting board sent a letter to inform me of this. Once I complete probation, I can ask the governor for "executive clemency" which would restore my voting rights. This became possible only in the mid-90's when Bill Clinton signed such legislation into law. Prior to this, my voting rights would have been revoked permanently. In many ways, I am a responsible citizen: I am a taxpayer, I own a business, I am active in a local church, I am involved in political campaigns & causes, I am a member of the Junior Chamber & other civic groups, I give to charities, and I am a good neighbor. I have done these things all my life - it is a way of life for me. It's what my parents and other role models taught me to do. So, is it fair to deny me the right to vote while I am on probation? Is it right? Is it justifiable? Should I, Lee McDaniel, be able to vote --either now or in the future?

January 23, 2004

Q: If you had the power and influence to rid the world of just one thing, what would that one thing be?

Q: Your best friend is hosting an event at her/his house in support of a candidate for public office whose candidacy you do not support. Despite how you feel about the candidate, your best friend asks you to attend. Do you go?

Q: If when you died you had an opportunity to wait for 5 people to greet into heaven, who would they be?

Q: If you were forced to enter a competition for the most useless talent, what useless talent would you put on display?

January 22, 2004

For months I've been posting comments to Mikal's blog, and now I have the honor of truly serving the Beli-Blog "community" with some well-intentioned fore-thoughts, critiques, and after-thoughts (as it may be). I must also introduce myself, as demanded by Mikal (without too much arm-twisting), and because my views are probably going to ruffle (few for some, many for others) some feathers with my more conservative view than most who post to the Beli-Blog, you all should know a little about me. My intentions are to provide a more "fair and balanced" perspective... just joking! Really, I'm seeking middle-ground on many issues, and hope that we can generate some good dialogue in the process.

I'm a 30-year-old (single), white American male (for those interested in demographics), birthed to, and currently residing in St. Louis, MO. (yes, I do say "worsh", not "wash"). I've made the requisite secular humanist, Buddhist/deep ecologist, back to my Catholic roots, journey. As a political independent, with a French-Canadian Catholic heritage, I'm pro-life, pro-environment, an abolitionist, want less welfare and more job programs, less government, and more privatized education. At heart, I'm a small-farm boy who seeks the simplicity and complexities of life.

Currently, I'm a graduate student working towards an MA in environmental and religious studies. Passions in my life run deep, with the mountains demanding the most of my life physically, spiritually, and intellectually. Professionally, I've been involved with the outdoor industry for the last 12 years on various levels. One of my initial experiences in the industry was a wonderful requisite encounter with Mikal in 1995 in Boulder, Colorado, when he worked for the Association for Experiential Education (AEE). He's been a good and close inspirational friend and mentor ever since.

Home and family has much meaning to me, despite having lived all over the world, including Ohio, Australia, Colorado, Alaska, Washington, and Missouri. Most of my time is spent either in intellectual endeavors, working in the outdoor "industry", climbing mountains, or traveling to far-flung corners of our great planet to climb mountains. I have a deep abiding appreciation for mountain cultures and the implications the current state of the world has on their evolution.

Once again, I look forward to engaging discussions, and I hope to meet many of you in the trenches of these digital dialogues.

PLEASE READ MY FIRST POSTING... THE UNCOOKED FACTS OF THE BUSH ASSAULT ON THE ENVIRONMENT... BY CLICKING ON THE LINK BELOW!

We'll just let that sink in for a minute, so feel free to re-read the paragraph if you're in minor shock.

The OMB contends there is insufficient peer-review of many environmental, public health, and safety concerns, and therefore this responsibility should belong to budget bureaucrats. In other words, all regulatory proposals will be "peer-reviewed" by whomever the economists at the OMB deem most appropriate before being given a green light. And even then, OMB may decide to delay announcing a policy change or a new finding for weeks or months, or simply determine to alert the public of only that information the OMB officials feel the public should know. Keep in mind, the OMB is the same office that proposed the "Senior Death Discount," whereby a 70 year-old's life is assumed to be worth 37 percent less than that of a younger person when assessing health impacts of environmental protections (Los Angeles Times April 30, 2003). If you think giving final responsibility for all health and safety measures and announcements to the executive branch's "green-eye-shade division" might be a bad idea, imagine how scientists feel!

Twenty former agency officials co-signed a letter to the OMB "asking the White House watchdog agency to withdraw its proposal, saying it 'could damage the federal system for protecting public health and the environment.'" Lest you think this is some partisan attack on the current administration, you need look only to Michael Taylor, former deputy commissioner at the FDA under the first President Bush and among the most critical voices of the OMB's proposal.

Further troubling is the fact that the OMB, which cites inconsistent peer-review policies and practices as the primary reason for this change, has not presented a single example of the type of abuse or unnecessary precautions necessitating the office's co-opting of the review and approval process. Instead, OMB simply refers "reporters to the comments of the American Chemical Council," a business association for the chemical industry. In other words, if you want to determine whether certain corporate policies really are in the best interests of children, the environment, or public safety, simply ask the corporations.

January 21, 2004

The power of forgiveness is a pretty amazing thing. If you've ever been forgiven by someone, or if you yourself have ever forgiven someone else, you know what I'm talking about; it's a great feeling. But if you're anything like me--which, for your own sanity and peace of mind, I hope you're not (at least not in this regard)--you find that there's one person in particular who is sometimes very difficult to forgive: That's right... Yourself! I've been struggling for the past month or so with a couple of issues that I just can't seem to let go of, and they're rooted of course in the same darned thing... if I'd just forgive myself I'm likely to be a heck of lot happier.

If you know me, and I mean 'really' know me, then you already know that I truly am my own worst enemy (just ask my Mom or any of my closest friends; heck, forget that... just read some of my previous postings on this very site :-) While I'm often quick to forgive others (a trait some say is admirable, while others suggest is a weakness of mine), I'm very stodgy when it comes to forgiving myself. So, because of some of the stuff that's been going on in my life recently, I've been doing a lot of thinking and reading about this whole self-forgiveness thing, hoping to find some clues as to why it is that I have this propensity for kicking myself in the ass all the time. Here's a short list of things I've learned, so far:

1. I like to be right, even if it means conjuring up an irrational thought or two about my own self-worth (and I'm not talking about pumping myself up either). If I get to be right about how bad I am, how stupid I was, or about how wrong I was, then no one else can be more right about it than me. Easy payoff in that one, but it comes at a super high price. Note to self: How's That Working For Ya? Not So Good? Okay, Then Stop Doing That!

2. I read this really great quote the other day from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. He said, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience." Pretty interesting, huh? I thought so too! To me, Teilhard de Chardin's thought relates to the notion that I hold myself to unrealistic standards. In an odd and damaging sort of way, I'm always expecting way more of myself then I am of others, and it takes its toll on my psyche. Another Note To Self: How's This One Working For Ya? Not So Good? Okay, Then Stop Doing That!

3. Gary Zukav, author of Seat of The Soul, says that not forgiving is like carrying suitcases and shoulder bags loaded with bricks through a crowded airport. He says that forgiving is akin to dropping the suitcases and continuing on to your gate without any of the bricks (which aren't allowed on airplanes in the first place). "It's lightening up," says Zukav. "It is being able to enjoy your life, laugh again, and see the beauty in others. When you cannot forgive yourself, you cannot forgive others. When you cannot forgive others, you cannot forgive yourself. Holy Cow! Now there's some big time insight for me. I recently told someone that I forgave them for something, but while I said the words, I didn't really mean it. I just wanted things to be better between us, so I tried to smooth things over by saying "I forgive you." About a week or so later I admitted to this same person that I had been upset and mad all along. I'm still not over it (heck, I'm still struggling with whether or not I had a right to be mad in the first place) but I have a feeling that Zukav's words will help and that things eventually will be okay between us. Note to Self: How's It Working For Ya When You Can't Forgive Others? Not So Good, Huh? Then Stop Doing That!

4. Dr. Phil (I know, I know, I'm gonna get some crap on this one; me quoting "Dr. Phil")... but Dr. Phil says--and check this out, because this is great stuff--You Have The Power To Be Miserable The Rest Of Your Life! It's true, I heard him say it on a TV commercial for his show. So I did a little checking around, and sure enough, Dr. P. has a five-step solution: 1. Reopen your heart and mind (the good doc says that when we're confronted with terrible pain, our hearts and minds slam shut; so choosing to open up again is the first step); 2. Choose to love yourself again (if you can't love yourself, you can't heal); 3. Confront and demystify your guilt (which essentially means, work on understanding and overcoming the fear that got you into this mess in the first place); 4. Give yourself permission and time to heal (pretty straightforward); and 5. Actively create a new relationship with yourself. Honestly, all of this makes terrific sense to me... so... Note To Self: If You're Just Not Diggin' This Whole Being Miserable Thing, Then Just Stop Doing It!

A lot of great wisdom speaks to the belief that there's unlimited power within all of us. Psychology and quantum physics both offer powerful evidence that our thoughts create our reality. Note To Self: Time for me to get into a better frame of mind :-)

January 20, 2004

Tonight, President Bush delivers the annual State of the Union speech. As an American, I hope that the state of our union is strong and good. As a partisan Democrat, I fear Bush the politician will focus on the minor achievements (regime change in Iraq, 4th quarter 2003 growth) while ignoring the larger issues such as the loss of manufacturing jobs, the attempt to re-organize overtime pay requirements, the misguided faith-based initiatives, and the continual asault on privacy and personal liberties. What should the President say or not say tonight? What is the state of our union?

January 19, 2004

I was inspired yesterday for the first time in a while. At my church's morning service, our pastor, Rev. Diane Hampton, spoke passionatley about the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and about Stephen, a follower of the historical Jesus as the Jewish Messiah. Stephen (scroll to Acts, chapter 7, verses 51-60 for his story) was stoned for his belief because it went against the ingrained culture and institutions of the day. Dr. King was assassinated because his belief in the equality of races went against the ingrained culture and institutions of his day. They were killed because of fear of the unknown and fear of change. Why didn't their contemporaries "get it?" What was so wrong about religious freedom and racial equality? I was inspired by the resolve and actions of these two men. They did not set out to be martyrs or inspirational leaders. They were ordinary people thrust in to extraordinary situations. They rose to the occasion, effected change, and inspired future generations. Pastor Diane's sermon made me ask: how am I called to make a difference? Am I doing all I can? Have I risen to the occasion? Today is Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. Can we not be ordinary people doing extraordinary things?

January 16, 2004

Q: Next Monday is Martin Luther King Jr. Day--a national holiday here in the US and a day off from work for some. On days such as these, do you commemorate the day by doing anything related to the purpose for the holiday, or is it simply just a day off from work where you're concerned?

Q: Earlier this week, President Bush announced that he would ask Congress for $12 billion over the next five years for research and development costs related to returning humans to the Moon and using it as a stepping stone for future exploration of the universe. How do you feel about this?

Q: If you could be a cereal box cartoon character for a day, what character would you be, and why?

January 15, 2004

Today's post is sort of a cop out. What I mean is that it's not really an original thought or anything tremendously insightful. Due to a huge work-related deadline (that kept me at the office until 11:45pm last night, and 9:30pm the night before) I don't really have the gumption right now to write anything other than something that would be quite inappropriate for me to share :-). So, rather than embarrass myself any further than I may have already done so with other posts that were made under duress, here's something from my good buddy Ford Church:

January 14, 2004

I've taken a fair amount of grief lately for the amount of weight I've lost (around 60 lbs. since early-September). People who seem to genuinely care about me and my wellbeing have continually shared that they're concerned about how quickly I dropped the weight, how much more I intend to lose (5 lbs.), and how they fear for my ability to get back into a normal diet without the traditional ups and downs and disappointments that most dieters experience. Legitimate concerns? Only time will tell, but Iím fairly optimistic that this will be a lifelong change for me, and that it will only be for the better. Iíve dreamed for far too long about the possibility of being 170 lbs. again, and now that Iíve nearly achieved that goal, Iím not very likely to give up on it. And that of course is where the concerns come into play.

In speaking with a friend the other day, I acknowledged my fears around going back to eating ërealí food. After all, itís real food that got me into trouble in the first place, so why on earth would I subject myself to such horror ever again? Well, as I wrote last week, Iím human, and as such I often turn to food for comfort and reward. Developing the skills necessary to catch myself before I do that sort of thing is the challenge I face now and forever. One of the things Iím going to try is something someone posted in the comment area of last Wednesdayís piece entitled ìMy Wellbeing.î Sallie wrote:

Suggestions like these are wonderful, and I can see where doing that sort of thing would be tremendously insightful and empowering. Iím going to give that a shot!

One of the things that has guided me on this journey, and given me the great deal of comfort that what Iím doing (shooting for 170 lbs.) is the right thing to do for my own health and wellbeing, is to closely follow the Body Mass Index (BMI) in determining a healthy weight for my build and frame. If youíre not familiar with it, the BMI was developed by scientists and researchers as a way of measuring total body fat in adults. Someone with a BMI of 25 to 29.9 is generally considered to be overweight, which is believed to carry moderate health risks. A BMI of 30 and higher is considered obese. The higher the BMI, obviously, the greater the risk of developing additional health problems. The ideal range is 18.9 to 24.9, with anything falling below 18.8 considered 'under weight'. Now of course, this isnít an exact science, but it is a starting point for many physicians, including my own. To demonstrate how BMI is determined, hereís a step-by-step calculation using a 6-foot tall, 175-pound man (letís call him Mikal) as an example:

These types of measurements, of course, can be misleading ñ- especially if a person is extremely muscular with reduced body fat (like a knucklehead bodybuilder on Ephedra might be), but for the most part they seem to work for the rest of us. When I started this program, I had a BMI of 32.8, which wasnít good by anyoneís standards. At 170 lbs. Iíll have a BMI of around 23, which is in the healthy range for someone my age and size. Many doctors now feel that everyone should know their BMI. Mine feels itís as important as knowing your cholesterol count, or maybe even more so.

Anyway, to wrap this up, the whole point of this post is that I just wanted to share that I appreciate everyoneís concerns (some of which I share myself); that I appreciate everyoneís suggestions (some of which Iím already or will immediately act upon); and that I think itíd be neat if everyone reading this post determined for themselves what their own BMI is. (If you're just not into doing all the math, click here for an easy to use online BMI calculator!)

January 13, 2004

January 12, 2004

I recently took a Personal Style Indicator test, the results of which I think will aid me in one of my 2004 resolutions (#3. Be a better friend and colleague by being a better person). If youíre not familiar with it, the Personal Style Indicator (PSI) is a scientifically-based tool intended to improve one's self-awareness, self-understanding, and ability to develop positive and rewarding relationships with others. The PSI helps to appraise your behavioral strengths; recognize those areas that could use improvement; and, understand and improve your relationships with others. The results of my PSI are as follows, and if I'm truly interested in being a better friend and colleague, it's important to me that I share this info WITH my friends and colleagues.

TO BE SUCCESSFUL, I NEED: Support to reach my goals; cooperation; detailed information; to be treated respectfully; for others to do quality work themselves; to be made to feel like I belong; appreciation for my efforts; for others to be kind, considerate, and thoughtful; people to trust me with important tasks; and, for others to value me as a person.

I GET "MOST" UPSET WHEN: Others are too slow for my tastes, talk too much, donít give me enough time, donít appreciate my efforts, are not interested in me, compete and win attention over me, seem judgmental over me, get angry or blow up or are mean to me, and when others are manipulative or unfair to me or those I care about.

STRENGTHS OF MY STYLE ARE: Acting rapidly to get results; driven to achieve goals; seek to create a low-stress climate; want to ensure quality; can follow directives and standards; am sensitive to others feelings; able to develop a network of contacts; often willing to help others; able to promote harmony and balance; am reliable and consistent; and, am often easy-going and warm.

DIFFICULTIES OF MY STYLE ARE: Can be lonely or fatigued; can bog down in details and lose time; can be too critical or finicky; can ìoverburnî and over-indulge; can be too accepting; can allow others to take advantage of me; can become bitter if unappreciated; can be low in self-worth; and, can be too dependant on others.

At the end of the day, in this quest to become a better friend and colleague by becoming a better person, I am interested in modifying the behaviors listed above under ìI get most upset whenî and ìDifficulties of my style areî. Many of these behaviors, while not always front-and-center, are not necessarily mitigated solely by my strengths. It's all a part of the journey, I suppose; right?

January 9, 2004

Q: Al Gore and Bill Bradley have endorsed Howard Dean. Madonna has endorsed Wesley Clark. Do these sorts of endorsements influence you or your vote? Why or why not?

Q: Do you have any art hanging on your walls that you've created yourself. If so, what is it? If not, do you dream of creating pieces of your own?

Q: For the men in the audience... boxers or briefs? And for the ladies in the house, which do you prefer?

January 8, 2004

After yesterday's post, I thought the Beli-Blog could use something a little more lighthearted. A few weeks ago I started receiving holiday letters from friends across the country. One letter in particular stood out, and that's what today's post is about. Below is the Allred Holiday Letter, reprinted with the permission of its author, Alexandra Allred. Enjoy... it's hilarious!

The annual Allred holiday letter has always been a bad one. Yes, bad because we like it that way. The tradition started in 1995 when Robb reviewed one of my letters with disgust and announced no one wants to read happy news. People want to hear the bad stuff, thus lifting their own spirits. To prove him wrong, I wrote everything that went bad that year ñ and it was a hit. But we donít need to tell you this was year was tough, filled with tragedy and heartbreak. The fall of the Saddam Hussein statue was fun to watch but at a great price. Itís hard to find things to joke about. As war broke out, my father (ret. Col. Marc Powe) was sent to Baghdad to work alongside General Garner in for the Organization for Reconstruction and Humanitarian Affairs. After a three-month tour, he did manage to come home just before his father (my Daddydaddy) died. Nonetheless, we will try to recap some of the old flavor of Christmas letters past with the trivial mishaps of our lives:

The year 2003 has been the year of the animal. After 6 _ years with us, Kerriís beloved guinea pig, Penny, died. Robb made us all promise that there would be no more animals but after some time, Kerri was ready for a new pig and we brought Cinny home. Cinny was with us for less than 48 hours before Tommy got her out to play with her and played a rousing game of ëroll on top of the pigí and accidentally killed her. Our big male goat, Zipper, continued to ram us until we had no choice but to sell him. Neighbors sat outside close to dinnertime just to watch me try to feed that stupid goat. No amount of kickboxing classes could keep that goat off of me! Finally, got rid of Zipper and the two baby goats, Sugar and Ginger. But the barn was empty so we got a new horse. An 18-month old gelding (Quarter horse) name Lightning came to us with all the wild, unbridled enthusiasm a young, untrained horse can have. He kicked the goats, bit and charged but nothing could prepare me for the day he leapt over the fence. He looked at me, I looked at himÖ somewhere in the distance crickets chirped. Then, the 45-minute battle of getting the nice horsey into the corral began. Of course, this occurred on possibly the hottest day in Texas and Robb was not home. Just as I got Lightning back to the corral gate, Tommy came tearing out of the garage, yelling. Lightning whirled around and flung me across the driveway and ran up the street. When Tommy charged out, he also let Pete (black lab) out who chased Benson up a tree. Benson is the kitty cat who came to us with Lightning and is named after the kind people we got Lighting from. (It took Robb three days to figure out we got a new cat. We run a ìDonít tell if no one asksî policy around here) Kerri ran out crying the cat was up the tree and Tommy got sticker burrs all over his feet. I caught the horse, caught the dog, cleaned Tommyís feet, saved the cat and went inside to call a horse trainer. A week later, Lighting went to charm school. It worked because he is very charming!!

One day after leaving kickboxing class, I heard a faint 'mew' from a car and made a joke to my friend/kickboxing buddy, Audra, that there was a cat somewhere. Sure enough, she had a stowaway ñ a kitten that had crawled into her car somewhere in Oklahoma. The kitten traveled in the middle of summertime from Oklahoma to Texas on a Saturday and was still in the engine block on Monday morning. Dehydrated, slightly injured, scared and hungry, he was finally lured out sometime on Tuesday. We named him Sooner (He is from Oklahoma after all) and brought him home where he quickly bonded with Cookie dough, the goat. Sooner and Cookie sleep and eat together and will be featured in an upcoming book entitled, Top Ten Cats. It took another week for Robb to figure out that Benson and Sooner were in fact two different felines.

Being the conscientious animal owner that I am, I sent Benson and Sooner to be spayed/neutered but nerve damage was done to Benson and she was paralyzed for almost a week. So, she lived in the house with us. Robb hacked away from allergies but, remarkably, never said ìnoî to her coming inside. By God, I think weíre wearing him down. Pete was on high-alert ñ ready to attack at any moment.

Nala got hit by a truck and survived. Cookie had two more babies named Skittles and Nutmeg but Nutmeg is already doing things to his sister that a nice goat really shouldnít do so he must go away. Pete caught and half-ate a squirrel, leaving the carcass right where Kerri and Katie stand to catch the bus. Kerriís gag reflex is alive and well.

Tommy was diagnosed with asthma and Kerri gets motion sickness on her school bus. We replaced the carpet with hardwood floors and got a barn for our hay. I did this, of course, when the penny-pincher was gone (Robb went elk hunting). What with all the animals, this was a needed purchase but as that monstrosity of a two-story barn was being delivered I had to ask my dad, ìYou think Robb will notice it?î Tommy had to be taken to the doctorís the day before Thanksgiving because he stuck something in his ear and Katie stood up in the middle of her cafeteria at school and announced to everyone that Santa was NOT coming but no one should panic because her billy goat had a beard and could fill in for Old St. Nick. I ripped the door handle off the van when the door got stuck ñ the same van on which I banged up the rear bumper and broke the rear windshield wiper. While I was busy trying to recover the credit card bill so that he would not see how much it costs when a cat goes paralyzed I discovered that someone stole our credit card identity and placed a $2,000 charge through e-bay on gift baskets and was forced to show Robb the bill. I stood firm, prepared for the explosion, but I believe he imploded. I heard a small ticking sound. A little part of him died that day. For the holidays, I believe I will be buying him a burial plot. Always look ahead, I say!

I blew my cover as the tooth fairy when I fell on top of Kerri one night. The power went out while working on a manuscript and I lost almost 50 pages, and Kerri is going through the worst hormonal 10-year-old change possible. I swear, I never knew a person could whine the alphabet. Katie is going through a phase of cartwheels . . .every annoying second of the day she does cartwheels. Cartwheels to the dinner table, cartwheels to brush teeth, cartwheels in front of the t.v. Tommy wonít stop singing, ìDid you know the Muffin Man?î at top volume and tries to incorporate the word ëpoopí anywhere he can ñ even with the Muffin Man. Thatís just wrong! Robb is so deeply invested in Fantasy Football, the only way I can get him to focus on anything is to talk football. ìRobb, itís third down and the opposing shower in the guest room has been broken since July! Now, if we put our first stringers on the line and go for fourth and goal, victory can be ours! We can do this, Robb. Hut, hut!î Tommy broke a very valuable Russian vase, Nala bit Tommy, Kerri punched Katie in the tummy, Kerri has announced she doesnít want to eat meat anymore and Katie refuses to wear ìgirlî clothes. The shower still doesnít work and the toilet gurgles whenever I do laundry.

January 7, 2004

Someone told me yesterday that they liked that they could use my blog to keep updated on my well-being. That got me thinking... there havn't really been all that many wellbeing-related posts recently (and, as you can tell, I'm confused on the spelling of well-being / wellbeing). But before I 'share' and get all tree-huggy on ya, let me tell you why it is that I choose to share some of the more personal things from my life in such an open and public forum.

I'm a firm believer in the notion that people have an 'already and always' way of listening and relating to one another, and that until we choose to transform our lives, which involves sharing 'what we're up to' with those who experience us on a daily basis, people are not very likely to change the way in which they experience one another, which possibly stands in the way of our own transformation. In my case, this means sharing 'what I'm up to' with as many people as possible. I not only choose to share that sort of info here because I want you to know what's going on in my life, but also so you'll support me and hold me accountable when I lose my way or stray off course. If what I'm up to in this world is a secret between me, myself, and I, realistically, who's gonna keep me honest? Me... well, sometimes yes, but not always. I'm honest enough with myself to know that I'm only human and that I can't go it alone (despite what that Quirkyalone test said about me :-)

Monday night is what I affectionately call "Fat Class" night -- the mandatory weekly educational session that's part of the weight loss program I'm in. For weeks now I've held the belief that I was different from the other people in my class. After all, all you have to do is look at them and you'd clearly see that I don't have their problems... they're morbidly obese, look to be in very poor health, and once you start to talk with them you learn that they take prescription drugs for diabetes and are compulsive eaters. That's not me. No way, no how. I got to be 50-60 lbs. overweight because when I moved from Colorado to Indiana I got a driver's license and a car, which meant that I'd stopped riding a bike or walking everyday to and from work. That's why I was so overweight... not because of my relationship to food or because of any compulsive eating habits. Not Me!

Well, guess what... that is me (not the morbidly obese or diabetic part, thank goodness), but definitely the part about having an unhealthy relationship with regards to food. As I wrote on the 31st of December, I cheated on my diet by eating nearly two DiGiorno pizzas, some cookies and soda, and a big-ol-fat Qdoba burrito. What I haven't told anyone, and didn't until last night's Fat Class, was that I didn't stop there. All last week, when no one was around at my office because of the holiday break, I went nuts... literally! I easily went thru nearly two one-pound bags of Peanut M&Ms, a whole bunch of caramel-coated popcorn, and a whole bunch more of chocolate-coated pretzels. But again, I didn't stop there. On New Year's eve I had a ton of bean dip, pasta, chips, and some soda over at my roommate's sister house while watching the movie Bowling for Columbine while waiting for the ball to drop in Times Square (great movie by the way, and I'm not just talking about Bowling for Columbine either; did you see how the special effects people are able to make Dick Clark look younger and younger every year... amazing!). Then, on Friday I ate a huge basket of French fries, and on Saturday I ordered a large Domino's pizza -- half of which I snarfed down that night, and half of which I inhaled on Sunday night, and in between I ate (shall we say) 'a few more M&Ms.' The binge finally ended this past Sunday evening when I convinced my roomie that we had to have more of those big-ol-fat Qdoba burritos.

My breakthrough (not 'breakout' mind you, in terms of a weight gain, because I exercised 6 out of that week's 7 days, burning a total of 6,800 calories) came during Monday night's Fat Class when: A. I owned up to actually doing all of this; and B. For the first time, with other people present, I admitted that I have a problem. What I quickly came to realize is that if I don't have a routine, chances are I might very well fail; and the routine since the beginning of October was one of unbeknownst co-dependency... unbeknownst co-dependency with the co-workers who saw me doing well and being solidly entrenched in the diet / program; unbeknownst co-dependency with the work-out partner who I didn't want to let down and who went out of town for the holidays; unbeknownst co-dependency with the roommate who saw me doing well and was in and out throughout the holidays; and even unbeknownst co-dependency with the people who read this blog and the people I worked with up at the mall during the holiday Santa photo shoot. In my mind, my daily interactions with all of these people and situations was a driving force in my success (over 50 lbs to-date, by the way).

Once the routine changed -- once everyone I thought I was being accountable to had left town -- that's when things went haywire. I now have no choice but to admit it... I'm a routine sort of guy; always have been, and to some degree or another probably always will be. Mess with my routine, take away the perceived accountabilities, and chance are that I may very well fall flat on my face like I did over the holidays. And food is something that I definately turn to for comfort when the routine changes! Will I drive miles and miles to get at the food... no, but I will eat most anything in sight, if it's around! When other people are around though, I seem to have the willpower to stay away.

Now, it's not all bad... in order to mitigate the damage, I did put in a tremendous amount of time at the gym; and I now know that I have a problem that is very much like what many other people experience, and I am doing something about it... so again, it's not all bad. But now is really not the time for patting myself on the back for being insightful or honest. Rather, now is the time to start being accountable to myself. Easier said than done, I know, but that's what I need to do. Why did I eat all of that food... because I was triggered into being lazy and because I gave in to temptation. Is that necessarily a bad thing? No, not if it's done in moderation. Could I have stopped it all on my own? This last time, obviously not. Am I going to kick myself in the butt for it? Heck no... that food was damn delicious! Am I disappointed in myself... sure, but I generally seem to do okay with disappointment. Oh, it might take me a few hours or a day or two to see the light, but I see that light because I know it's there.

So, what now? Well, to be perfectly honest, I'm not totally sure. I'll tell you this though... I am looking forward to those Monday night Fat Classes a lot more than before. Also, in addition to the resolutions I already shared for 2004, I'm adding cooking classes and reading up on co-dependency.

January 6, 2004

So, we apparently made it through the last two weeks without another terrorist attack against the U.S. or its citizens. We can all inhale a little bit easier now, right? Apparently not. The United Statesí threat level, as determined by the Department of Homeland Security, is expected to remain elevated for at least the next two months, which means longer lines at airport check-in counters and more ornery customers. According to a slew of news reports, Sunday a new audiotape surfaced, and experts here in the United States say that it likely contains the voice of Usama Bin Laden. And since the tape itself refers to last monthís capture of Saddam Hussein, it would have to have been made fairly recently. The troubling thing about the tape is that similar ones have surfaced just days before other attacks have taken place. So does that mean that this tape is the sign of another attack?

And what about all of the problems with all those airline flights from Europe? Originally, an Air France flight was cancelled, then the media focused its attention on one particular British Airways flight, #223, from London to Washington, D.C. Flight 223 has been delayed or cancelled almost every day recently, and the major media is hot right now to report all about it. The reason? Well, that really depends on who you listen toÖ the flight number may have come up in terrorist "chatter,î or the flight number itself is the same number as a U.N. resolution that terrorists take exception to, or British pilots may simply be refusing to fly with armed air marshals on board their planes.

Commercial airline flights held on the ground, flights cancelled, new restrictions at airports, and now requirements that say that visitors to the U.S. be photographed and fingerprinted. Would it be better not to say anything, and lure the ëevil doersí in so they could be caught? Or is it better to be open about our fears, cancel flights, and disrupt any and all possible terrorist operations? Are we unnecessarily ruled by fear or do others unnecessarily fear us?

January 5, 2004

I checked in with an out-of-town friend to see how her New Year's Eve was, and here's what she wrote:

Wow! Even though I'm single and childless, I totally get just how amazing of an experience that was for my friend. Moments like those are to be cherished forever.

January 4, 2004

Are you quirkyalone? Never heard that term before? Neither had I, until last week, that is, when I read a review for the new book, Quirkyalone, described as the bible for everyone who rejects archaic notions of romantic relationships.

According to the official online Quirkyalone quiz, which I scored 112 on, I am "very" quirkyalone ("Relatives may give you quizzical looks, and so may friends, but you know in your heart of hearts that you are following your inner voice. Though you may not be romancing a single person, you are romancing the world."). Click here to take the quiz for yourself.

Quirkyaloners are further described as "...the puzzle pieces who seldom fit with other puzzle pieces. Romantics, idealists, eccentrics, we inhabit singledom as our natural resting state. In a world where proms and marriage define the social order, we are, by force of our personalities and inner strength, rebels.".

So, are you a quirkyalone or do you suspect that someone you know might be one? If so, fret not... apparently there's an official International Quirkyalone Day... February 14, 2004: "...a do-it-yourself celebration of romance, friendship, and independent spirit. There are no giant teddy bears, Hallmark cards or gigantic red boxes of chocolate, just honest love and displays of affection for yourself, your friends, and a lover if you have one."

January 3, 2004

My good buddy Matt, after flipping and totaling his old ride, has purchased a new truck / SUV, and is now looking for ideas on what to name the beast.

OK, it's time to name Matt's new truck. I keep getting choked up everytime I stumble towards saying that I've "replaced" my old truck, Jessie. I simply don't feel that she could be 'replaced.' So, I'm sticking to the phrase, "I've got a new truck." Honestly, it's not new...it's just new to me. She's a 1999, Isuzu Trooper S, purchased with 43K miles. I have NO FRIGGIN' CLUE what to name this one; we've gotten off to a poor start, because I keep seeing white Rodeos everywhere. In fact, just as I was about to take the keys to my new truck, I saw a Rodeo configured just like Jessie. So, I turned around, and saw another. They had the same body, white w/ greyish-silver trim and rack setup. I knew that taking on a new vehicle would be an exercise in sucking up my pride, but I didn't think it would be an emotional roller coaster.

Let's give Matt a helping hand. Ciick on the 'Comments' link below to add your suggestions for what to name the new truck / SUV.

Time and circumstances got in the way this past Christmas, so I didn't get a Christmas Tree or lights put up at home. But not all was lost... using the power behind this Internet thing that everyone's always talking about, I got to see what not to do next season if I'm fortunate enough to have a Christmas Tree and lighted decorations. Check out UglyChristmasLights.com by clicking here.

January 2, 2004

Q: Do you think 2004 will bring more or less prosperity to the U.S. economy and its average income earning citizen?

Q: Will you be voting in the 2004 U.S. presidential election; and if so, have you already decided who you'll be voting for?

January 1, 2004

Have you ever worked / volunteered in a coat-check room? I hadn't, before last night that is, and now I never hope to see the innards of one again! While I wrote the other day about the absurdity associated with unionized workers' claims that no one should be allowed to volunteer for a job that a union employee could do for pay, I am now realizing -- especially after last night -- that not every volunteer opportunity is appropriate for volunteers.

Last night (New Year's Eve) I volunteered to help out at the Indiana State Museum's annual Family New Yearís Eve Celebration. I worked the coat-check room, along with one other person -- a local high school student named Ming. Simple enough job, right? I mean, how difficult could it be. People plop their coats on the counter, you ask for .50 cents per item along with a last name and phone number (which you write on a numbered ticket), hand out a receipt, hang up the coat(s), and then do it all over again for the next customer. In theory, easy as pie. In practice -- with well over a thousand people in attendance, and only yourself and a high school student at your side -- it's an entirely different scenario.

Someone in charge decided 15 minutes into the job that since 70% or more of the evening's patrons were dues-paying members of the museum, no one should have to pay for the service, which only encouraged more people to check their coats. Can you picture it... jackets are piling up left and right; we're running out of coat racks upon which to hang jackets; car keys, scarves, and hats are falling out of the jackets in such a way that we have no idea which they belong to; the kids jackets have spit, drool and pieces of food on them; and the line is just getting deeper and deeper and deeper. Finally, Sarah, the 20-year-old daughter of the museum's volunteer coordinator, comes to our aid. We stop accepting coats (which upset more than a few people), finish hanging up the coats that hadn't yet made their way to the back room, reorder everything according to coat-check receipt number, and then turn right around to give everyone back their checked items. Fortunately, by the time we moved on to handing out coats, Sarah's dad, boyfriend, and two younger brothers all came in and thankfully helped.

Volunteers want to do a good job but cannot do so when they're placed in situations that are well beyond their control. In this case, the museum should have known that with over a thousand people in attendance, there'd be no way for two volunteers with no prior coat-check room experience to provide the level of service required to meet the demand.