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May 31, 2005

TAGGED BY A BOOK MEME

Scott and Jay over at Sardonic Bomb 'tagged' me with the following book meme. Enjoy, and as always, feel free to leave a comment or two below.

1. Estimate the total number of books you've owned in your life.

Wow, that's such a good question. I suppose if you count all the books I owned a growing up, plus the ones I owned while in college, and you added to that list all the books I've bought, collected, or received ever since, I'd be well over 1,000 titles.

2. What's the last book you bought?

The Last Season: A Team In Search of Its Soul by Phil Jackson and Michael Arkush.

3. What's the last book you read?

Tour de France For Dummies, by Phil Liggett, James Raia, and Sammarye Lewis.

4. List 5 books that mean a lot to you.

- Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer, which follows the true story of Christopher McCandless, who immediately upon graduating from college gave nearly $30,000 in savings to charity, abandoned his car in a desert--along with most of his possessions--and invented a new life for himself while on a journey that ultimately ended in the most strange of ways. Four months later, an Alaskan hunter found McCandlessí body. How McCandless came to die, and an attempt at understanding his motives, is what Into the Wild is all about, and even though I've read this book again and again, I just can't seem to get enough of it. It's a very compelling read.

- The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding North Korea by C. Kenneth Quinones. I conceived and served as the acquisitions editor for this title while employed by Penguin Group (USA)/Alpha Books. It's a title that means a lot to me because of the quality and depth of the information, as well as because of the role I played in its development.

- Maus, a Survivors Tale: My Father Bleeds History by Art Spiegelman. This is the first graphic novel I ever read.

- The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, PhD. (the inspiration for my Four For Friday meme).

- Guinness Book of World Records. This book kept me entertained for hours upon hours as a kid, and beyond.

5. Tag 5 people!

-Josette

-D. Lee

-Cindra

-Doug

-Sya

Posted by Mikal at 6:02 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

May 30, 2005

WHEN I WAS A KID...

... There were certain sporting events I would always try to watch on television. The Olympics, Kentucky Derby, The Tour de France, Evil Knievel on ABC's Wide World of Sports, and the Indianapolis 500, were all as much a part of my social consciousness as was anything else. So imagine how excited I was when I moved to Indianapolis, home of the Indy 500, which is just a couple of hours away from Churchill Downs, home of The Kentucky Derby.

A couple of years ago I attended my first--and commented to myself, "last"--Indianapolis 500. While the race itself was unremarkable, the event is a must see. The sheer power of the cars combined with the unfathomable size of the crowd, made it a truly awesome experience. But the noise was too much for these ears, so I swore I'd never go back to the track on race day unless it was at the invitation of someone who had an extra ticket for one of the glassed-in box seats that hovers above the start/finish line.

While I've almost completely ruled out watching the race in person, I still enjoy catching it on television, which you'd think would be an easy thing to do if you live in the town were the race is run, but noooooooo, it's not. The live ABC telecast of the race is blacked out locally, and is shown as a live replay in primetime the night of the race. What this means is that if you want to watch the race without knowing ahead of time who won, you have to inform everyone you speak to to not tell you the outcome, and you have to avoid all local radio and television leading up to the rebroadcast of the race. In short, a giant pain in the you-know-what!

Luckily, since the holiday weekend is devoted to Part II of last weekend's Spring Cleaning, I had little time for watching television. Ironically, as much as I wanted to watch the race, I fell asleep before the final lap, and didn't find out until just a few minutes ago who won.

Next year, I'm definitely headed down to Louisville to watch The Kentucky Derby in person!

Posted by Mikal at 7:28 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

May 28, 2005

If you live in Indianapolis, you know that tomorrow marks the 89th running of the Indianapolis 500. And if tomorrow's race day, and you live downtown like I do, you know that today's Parade Day. And if you live anywhere near parade route, you know that you're just as likely to see a band practicing in your front yard as you are to see a group of Indy cars driving down your street. Ignore the dates posted on the photos below (I had a brain fart and couldn't figure out how to shut the date-stamp feature off, nor could I figure out how to set it correctly). Nevertheless, here are a couple of photos from just a few moments ago, both taken from my windows.

May 27, 2005

Q1: Do you search for and use grocery store coupons? Why or why not?

Q2: With respect to your friends--close or otherwise--do they tend to be the same age as you, younger than you, or older than you? Excluding relatives, blood or otherwise, what's the biggest difference in age between youself and your oldest or youngest friend?

Q3: Within the last couple of weeks, General Motors, Morgan Stanley, and British Petroleum have all instituted policies which demand that newspapers, magazines, and web sites from which they have purchased advertising space, inform them in advance of any text or visual images they plan to publish that directly mention their company's name, a competitor's name, or in BP's case, the oil-and-energy industry. In short, these companies want the opportunity to pull their advertisements from media outlets on days when less than positive editorial coverage may be coming their way. How do you feel about this? Since most media outlets rely on paid advertising as their primary source of revenue, should advertisers, in essence, be allowed to be dictate which editorial content publishers can or cannot print? Or, since publishers charge an arm and a leg for the advertising space to begin with, not to mention that it's the advertiser's money that's being spent, is this sort of practice basically okay?

Q4: Would you ever answer your cell phone if it rang while you were in a public restroom? What if you were in the privacy of your own bathroom at home... would you answer it then?

May 25, 2005

There was an interesting article in yesterday's Wall Street Journal about the challenges convicted felons face upon release from prison (and being able to vote is the least of their worries). From finding work and housing to receiving a state issued identification card or financial aid to pay for college, convicted felons are faced with one hurdle after another in their attempt to reinsert themselves back into society. While I have never been arrested or spent even one second behind bars, I have a friend who is soon going to be faced with many of these issues himself, and I worry for him in deep and meaningful ways.

What is the justification for denying people who have paid their debt to society the right to vote? After all, the rights guaranteed by the Constitution are equal, inseparable and take precedence over any subsequent enactments. Would anyone assert that a felon, once released from prison and having successfully completed parole or probation, has no right to attend a church--to exercise his or her freedom of religion--until those specific rights are restored in writing by some executive order? Of course not.

Likewise, no one would consider barring former prisoners from writing books or letters-to-the-editor after their release pending issuance of some document formally "restoring" this First Amendment right.

This notion that you can become a second class citizens--with some of your constitutional rights selectively and permanently impaired--even after you have "done your time," is anathema in a free country, because it accustoms us to a dangerous precedent under which bureaucrats are empowered to decide which rights shall be "restored," and when.

Click on the link below for the full Wall Street Journal article. It's a fascinating read, to say the least.

After Prison Boom, A Focus on Hurdles Faced by Ex-Cons

May†24,†2005;†Page†A1

In the kitchen of an Applebee's restaurant in Queens, N.Y., Jacqueline Smith has been a model hire. In less than two years working as a cook, she got a promotion to supervisor, doubled her salary and won the award for employee of the year.

Her success hasn't come easily. The dark-haired 38-year-old is an ex-convict who served more than nine years for transporting more than half a pound of crack cocaine from New York to Washington. Since being released in July 2003, she has struggled with basic necessities such as finding affordable housing and getting a valid state ID card.

A single parent with a steady but low-paying job, Ms. Smith would normally be considered a prime candidate for public-housing assistance, but she knows the odds are against her. Local housing rules bar ex-felons from living in public housing for six years after completing their sentence. So every night around midnight, Ms. Smith takes a few buses and switches subway lines for an hour-long trek to a Manhattan shelter for female ex-convicts where she and her daughter have been living for more than a year.

"It's one battle after the next -- trying to obtain housing, trying to obtain employment," Ms. Smith says. "I want a second chance. I want people to see I made mistakes, but I am making it right."

Ms. Smith is one of more than 630,000 people released each year from corrections institutions in the U.S. Not surprisingly, people who have been locked up for many years, often poorly educated and lacking in financial support, face a range of obstacles to re-entering society. Yet some of the biggest are put there by federal, state and local governments, including hurdles to getting student loans, public housing and other forms of government assistance.

For years, the thinking among law-enforcement officials and politicians was that this was the price people should pay for breaking the law. Now there is an emerging belief that the larger price is being borne by society, since the practical barriers facing ex-prisoners make it more likely that they will slip back into a life of crime.

Two-thirds of ex-felons return to police custody within three years of their release for new crimes or for probation or parole violations, according to Justice Department studies. U.S. taxpayers spent $60 billion on corrections in 2002 at the local, state and federal levels, up from $9 billion two decades earlier. Over that same time frame, corrections has been the second fastest growing government spending category after health care.

Aside from public-housing restrictions, many former felons find they need special waivers to get licensed in vocations they learned while serving time. Some find their attempts to get an education are stymied by laws barring loans to those convicted of a crime. Still others can stumble into technical violations that send them back to prison, such as reporting late for a meeting with a probation officer. For those who have completed lengthy sentences, the most frustrating barrier is also the most basic -- getting a legitimate ID card, such as a driver's license.

"One barrier may not be that big a deal," says Debbie Mukamal, director of the prisoner re-entry institute at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York. Usually, though, offenders face several barriers, she says, adding: "You can't get housing, you have child support" payments to make, "you can't get ID and no one will hire you. Cumulatively, that sends a signal: You're not wanted." Ms. Mukamal is the co-author of a sweeping report last year funded by the Justice Department and conducted by the Legal Action Center, a New York nonprofit, examining "roadblocks to entry" facing ex-offenders.

After years of pushing for tougher sentences, politicians in Washington are rethinking their approach. The Second Chance Act, hammered out by a bipartisan group of lawmakers and introduced last month, would provide more than $80 million in grants for programs to help ex-offenders re-enter society.

Kellie Mann Owens might have benefited from a key part of the legislation: a provision ensuring that ex-offenders can be licensed in occupations they trained for in prison.

Ms. Owens was determined to learn a skill so she could land a job when she left the Alderson, W.Va., women's prison made famous recently for housing Martha Stewart. In 1993, Ms. Owens, who had just finished her sophomore year at Santa Rosa Junior College in Northern California, obtained LSD for her ex-boyfriend and mailed it to him in Georgia. He was caught and cooperated with authorities against those he had enlisted to secure drugs, including Ms. Owens. He was sentenced to two years while she received 10.

Ms. Owens, now 34 years old, joined the prison's all-women fire-fighting team, a group that provides fire protection for the prison and backup for other local fire squads. She figured it would position her well for a decent job. For more than five years, she slogged through classes and training, entering smoke-filled rooms with her oxygen mask blackened to simulate rescue situations and navigating the Appalachian mountain roads near the prison in a yellow fire truck.

"Any of the physical requirements that you had to do" for state licensing, "we were required to do in our classes," says Ms. Owens.

She eventually rose to the fire team's top rank of lieutenant, garnering 300 hours of training and 100 hours at the scenes of actual fires in the towns outside the prison.

In January 2001, President Clinton granted her clemency on his last day in office after receiving her name from Families Against Mandatory Minimums, a group that advocates changes in sentencing laws.

After eight years in prison, she left Alderson for her parents' home in Alpharetta, Ga., confident a fire department in one of Atlanta's booming suburbs would hire her. She filled out each job application truthfully, noting she was a felon. But state law bars hiring former felons.

Ms. Owens says she offered to "clean hoses, flush the truck," anything to get her foot in the door -- to no avail.

Eventually, she got a job with an organization that trains service dogs for people with debilitating diseases and injuries. Last year, she moved to Hawaii and started a catering business with her husband, who she had met back in high school. The business didn't take off so they are planning to try again in Mississippi.

Many ex-convicts leave prison wanting to start anew, and the first step is often trying to get an education. But while 63% of all undergraduates receive some form of financial aid, money isn't easy to come by for ex-felons.

Emily Wheeler, of Kenosha, Wis., says she was arrested Aug. 5, 2003, for growing and selling marijuana with her boyfriend.

Nineteen years old and in the early stages of pregnancy, she received a sentence of three months in jail and three years on probation -- reasonable, given that "I did screw up," she now says.

After she was released in January 2004, she applied to take classes in word-processing and other office skills at Gateway Technical College in Kenosha. "I was filling out the application [for financial aid] and I got to question 35. It asked me if I'd been convicted of a drug felony," she says. "I was totally halted right there."

Federal law states that first-time offenders convicted on federal or state drug-possession or drug-trafficking charges are ineligible to receive financial assistance for as long as two years after their convictions. Completing drug rehabilitation can cut that time, but such programs can be expensive.

"I understand their concern. A college campus is a perfect place to sell drugs, but I also know I can't move forward in my life without an education and a good job," says Ms. Wheeler. She now earns $7 an hour at a Culver's Frozen Custard, a fast-food restaurant, trying to make ends meet to help support Olivia Rose, her 1-year-old.

For Ms. Smith, the Applebee's cook, finding housing for herself and her teenage daughter has been the toughest challenge. Upon being released in July 2003 from the women's prison in Danbury, Conn., Ms. Smith headed for a halfway house.

Like many prisoners released before their sentence is completed, Ms. Smith was required to find a job in 15 days or face the possibility of being returned to prison to finish her last six months. But to get a job, Ms. Smith needed valid identification from the Department of Motor Vehicles. In New York, residents need a combination of documentation such as bills and voter registration cards that each add up to enough cumulative "points" to qualify for a driver's license or nondriver ID.

Ms. Smith had a federal prisoner ID, a birth certificate and a Social Security card. Those were not enough. Motor-vehicle personnel asked if she had a passport, a bill with her name on it, any additional identifiers. "I kept telling them that I'd been in prison the last 10 years and didn't have any other identification." Eventually she found a sympathetic supervisor who issued her the card.

She found a job quickly at a clothing store but switched after a few months to work for Applebee's, where she could use the culinary certificate she'd earned in training on the inside.

She struggled to find a cheap yet safe place for her and her daughter. The two are now living in the Sarah Powell Huntington House, a Women's Prison Association facility, funded through the city department of homeless services.

Ms. Smith has been trying to apply for subsidized housing. The federal government has a small number of restrictions against ex-felons living in public housing, such as sex offenders and those who have manufactured methamphetamine in a housing complex. However, local housing authorities are able to impose their own restrictions on ex-felons living in public housing, and those can be expansive.

Howard Marder, spokesman for the New York City Housing Authority, says there are virtually no vacancies in the city in public housing and with about 136,000 applications pending it is unlikely that someone with a felony record will get in. Besides, ex-felons are ineligible for public housing for six years after the completion of their sentence, including probation. Ms. Smith, who will be on probation another three years, won't even be eligible until 2014.

Ms. Smith recently met with a New York City Housing Authority case agent to discuss her application. She took certificates showing her training and her work experience, but the conversation turned toward her felony record. "I asked if that meant I wasn't going to get it. They wouldn't say no outright," she said, but she was left with the impression that her application would be rejected. "I still hope everything works out," she says, "but I don't know."

Until something else comes along, Ms. Smith says she'll keep pushing for promotions at work, while staying in the shelter. Returning to a life of crime and risking a return to prison is not an option, she says: "I don't have another 10 years to give to nobody."

May 23, 2005

If you know me, you know that I'm totally opposed to catch-and-release fishing. I believe that we as human beings should have evolved to the point by now where we do not take pleasure from intentionally causing harm to another living creature purely for our own recreational entertainment. With that thought in mind, I'm please to share the following, which comes from Ret Talbot, a cherished friend and compatriot in the catch-with-the-intent-to-eat movement.

It was a good week for the fish--with the possible exception of the sturgeon in Canada, but that's another story all together. Usually the hapless victims of hooks and spears, trot lines and nets--even tickling and dynamite--the fish this week finally scored some points with a bevy of arrests, lawsuits and legislations in their favor. Here's a day-by-day sampling of their recent good fortune.

Monday

The week started on a positive note for the fish when a human-sized fish (actually it was a human in a fish costume) handed out free "Fish Flake" trading cards to middle school students in Phoenix, Arizona. According to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, "fish are friends, not food," and that was their message on Monday. In addition to the trading cards designed to "show the ugly side of eating fish," PETA members gave kids letters to take home to their parents. The letters informed parents and kids that "fish flesh is toxic" and "feeding kids fish and other sea animals is likely to harm their mental development." Sound like a fish tale? Just wait, because the PETA "Fish Empathy Project" is coming to a middle school near you soon. "Fish are intelligent, sensitive animals," say the media folks at PETA. "[They] experience fear and pain every bit as much as any dog or cat and that they are definitely not health food."

Tuesday

Then in Wisconsin, on Tuesday, the Attorney General announced her office was filing a lawsuit against a property owner and a business for violations of the state's water pollution control and hazardous substance spill remediation laws. The crime occurred last summer and resulted in the death of more than 7,000 brown trout that were suffocated when 215,000 gallons of liquid manure flooded their stream stripping the oxygen from the water. "The fish kill in this case was preventable," said the Attorney General. Unfortunately it will take eight years for the habitat to recover (three years if a proposed $13,000 fish restoration plan is implemented), and in the interim, the Department of Natural Resources estimates over $1 million will be lost due to lack of use by anglers and other members of the public. Be that as it might, if the lawsuit is successful and the defendants end up paying, well then all those browns didn't die in vain, as countless other lives will be saved when future polluters think twice before improperly managing their manure.

Wednesday

On Wednesday, the omnibus game and fish bill in the Minnesota State Senate passed 65-0 which, again, was good news for the fish--especially the state's resident walleye. More than 30 provisions are in the bill including the tightening of Walleye regulations in state waters. Under the new legislation, fishermen and fisherladies will only be permitted to posses one walleye greater than 20 inches in length. Period. So fisherfolk on multi-day fishing junkets will no longer be able to harvest a lunker walleye each day to bring home for cheesy walleye casserole, walleye and kraut sandwiches and walleye supreme to feed their friends and family and stock the freezer. Although the walleye are smiling gill-to-gill, terrestrial game don't fare as well under the new legislations, as it will now be that much easier for the little tykes and the visually impaired to get a kill. Not that I mean to be prejudicial, but I feel I'd be remiss if I didn't say that, in my humble opinion, twelve year olds don't need to be wielding high-powered weapons even within an arms length of a parent or guardian. Further, I don't care if they have a laser sight or not, totally blind people shouldn't go hunting, and nobody needs a scope on a muzzleloader.... but I digress.

Thursday

Then on Thursday, the San Diego City Attorney's Office filed misdemeanor criminal charges against two scuba divers and a boat operator involved in the April spearing of a 171-pound reproductive female sea bass that was, in the words of the perp, "threatening" him. The 34-year old man, who allegedly shot the docile fish in self-defense, has been charged with unlawfully killing a protected species inside the boundaries of the San Diego-La Jolla Ecological Reserve and two counts of misdemeanor conspiracy. When it's all said and done, he could spend three years in jail and owe $22,000 in fines according to the deputy city attorney Kathryn Lange. "She probably had 50 years of reproductive life left," said Lange of the estimated 12-15 year old fish, and while family and friends mourn her and her unborn young, the residents of San Diego-La Jolla Ecological Reserve must rest a little easier knowing that the City Attorney's Office has their back. In unrelated news, a scientist with the Israel Nature and Parks Authority on Thursday verified that the pygmy cormorants relocated from the Beit She'an Valley (where they were reeking havoc on the eighty fish per cubic meter fish farm ponds) had, in fact, stayed away. "It's important to manage nature," he said. "Otherwise everyone loses."

Friday

Finally, on Friday, the fish really knew someone was smiling on them when Shaw Grigsby of Gainesville, Florida, announced he was having the worst year of his professional fishing career. "I've analyzed it and I thought about it," he told Tim Tucker, a senior writer for BASSMASTER Magazine and B.A.S.S. Times. "I don't have any conclusions. I'm not making good choices and I really don't know why." If the winner of eight BASS events--a man who has earned more than $1 million ripping lips--is not hooking-up and he doesn't know why...well that can only be good news for the fish. "My hopes were very high this year," Grigsby said. "I thought I would do well and have a good season." Although our sympathies go to Mr. Grigsby, who was unable to complete last season due to heart disease, you know the fish love to hear it when a fisherman of Grigsby's status says: "[I]t hurts you inside. You start questioning yourself."

And so wraps up a good week for the fish. "Right back at you," the fish say to Grigsby. "Do you know how much we have hurt inside every time you cleaned up at a tournament? Boating our brethren and weighing them like pieces of meat and all for your own glory and financial gain? We are intelligent and sensitive, and we do experience fear and pain just like Fido and Fluffy (although isn't "toxic" a bit harsh? Many of us eat a lot of fish too, you know)."

Now, on a sad note, about those sturgeon. Unfortunately, Canada's signing of the international Kyoto accord on the environment means that there is going to be a flurry of hydroelectric activity in central and western Canada, and there's little doubt that the already embattled and endangered sturgeon will suffer as their spawning routes are further disrupted and their habitat further degradated. "It's a bizarre turn of events that this species is now connected to Kyoto," said a Canadian zoologist. But, hey, that's Canada, and patriotic American Fish know that our President, a fish lover himself, wouldn't bring such an atrocity on his finned constituents. So, from us, the fish, we know you knew exactly what you were doing when you refused to sign Kyoto. Thank you Mr. President, from the bottom of our swim bladders.

May 20, 2005

Q1: How do you feel about television, newspaper, magazine, or web site news reports that rely wholly or in part on 'unnamed' sources?

Q2: Do you think there should be government-mandated drug-testing for anyone who plays sports professionally?

Q3: When you prepare to eat a hamburger or a sandwich, do you prefer to cut the burger or sandwich in half before eating it, or are you okay eating it whole?

Q4: Restaurants are notorious for charging a 15-18% gratuity on groups of eight or more. Are you in favor of this practice or would you prefer to tip the wait staff yourself based on how you feel they handled your table/group?

May 19, 2005

... you fall flat on your face...

... you find yourself stuffed in a cage...

... and you can't tell how many legs an elephant has...

May 16, 2005

The other morning, while driving to work, I caught the tail end of some morning drive show team debating over whether it was factually accurate to call a group of seagulls a Flock. While I couldn't find the answer, which put me out of the running for free tickets to an upcoming Dave Matthews concert, I was able to locate group names for a whole bunch of other animals, many of which I found to be rather odd. Here are my favorites:

Apes: a Shrewdness of Apes
Butterflies: a Swarm, Rabble, Kaleidoscope or Flutter of Butterflies
Cheetahs: a Coalition of Cheetahs
Eagles: Convocation of Eagles
Grasshoppers: a Cloud of Grasshoppers
Hyenas: a Cackle of Hyenas
Jackrabbits: a Husk of Jackrabbits
Lice: a Flock of Lice
Nightingales: a Watch of Nightingales
Owls: a Parliament, Stare, Wisdom or Study of Owls
Penguins: a Rookery or Colony of Penguins
Rattlesnakes: a Rhumba of Rattlesnakes
Schnauzers: a Stench of Schnauzers
Tigers: an Ambush or Streak of Tigers
Vultures: a Committee of Vultures
Zebras: a Zeal, Herd or Dazzle of Zebras

Antelopes: a Herd of antelopes
Ants: a Colony, Army, State or Swarm of Ants
Baboons: a Troop of Baboons
Badgers: a Cete of Badgers
Barracudas: a Battery of Barracudas
Bass: a Shoal of Bass
Bats: a Colony of Bats
Bears: a Sloth or Sleuth of Bears
Beavers: a Colony or Family of Beavers
Bees: a Grist, Hive, Swarm, Drift, Bike, Cluster, Erst or Nest of Bees
Bison: a Herd of Bison
Boar: a Sounder or Singular of Boar
Buck: a Brace or Clash of Bucks
Buffalo: a Herd, Troup, Gang or Obstinacy of Buffalo
Bullocks: a Drove of Bullocks
Buzzards: a Wake of Buzzards
Camels: a Flock or Train of Camels
Caribou: a Herd of Caribou
Caterpillars: an Army of Caterpillars
Cattle: a Herd, Drove, Drift or Mob of Cattle
Cats: a Clowder, Pounce, Kindle, Litter, Intrigue, Clutter or Comfort of Cats
Chicken: a Brood, Clutch, Flock, Run, Peep, Clutch or Chattering of Chickens
Clams: a Bed of Clams
Cobras: a Quiver of Cobras
Cockroaches: an Intrusion of Cockroaches
Colts: a Rag of Colts
Cormorants: a Gulp or Flight of Cormorants
Coyote: a Band of Coyote
Crabs: a Bushel of Crabs
Cranes: a Herd, Siege or Sedge of Cranes
Crocodiles: a Bask or Float of Crocodiles
Crows: a Murder or Horde of Crows
Deer: a Roe, Herd, Leash, Mob, Deer, Bevy or Roe of Deer
Dogfish: a Troop of Dogfish
Dogs: a Pack or Kennel of Dogs
Dolphins: a School or Pod of Dolphins
Donkeys: a Herd, Drove or Pace of Donkeys
Doves: a Flight, Duel, Dole or Pitying of Doves
Ducks: a Raft, Paddling, Bunch, Team, Brace, Bed, Flight or Flock of Ducks
Elephants: a Herd, Parade or Crash of Elephants
Elk: a Herd or Gang of Elk
Emus: a Mob of Emus
Ferrets: a Business of Ferrets
Finches: a Charm of Finches
Flamingoes: a Stand or a Flamboyance of Flamingoes
Flies: a Cloud, Hatch, Business or Swarm of Flies
Foxes: a Skulk, Cloud, Troop, Company, Leash or Earth of Foxes
Frogs: an army or Colony of Frogs
Geese: a Gaggle, Flock, Skein, Team, Wedge, or a Plump of Geese
Giraffes: a Corps, Troop, Herd, Tower, Kindergarten or Journey of Giraffes
Gnats: a Cloud or Horde of Gnats
Goats: a Flock, Herd, Tribe or Trip of Goats
Goldfinches: a Charm of Goldfinches
Goldfish: a Troubling of Goldfish
Gorillas: a Band of Gorillas
Greyhounds: a Leash of Greyhounds
Grouse: a Pack or Covey of Grouse
Gulls: a Colony of Gulls
Hamsters: a Horde of Hamsters
Hares: a Husk, Down or Mute of Hares
Hawks: a Cast, Kettle or Boil of Hawks
Hedgehogs: an Array of Hedgehogs
Hens: a Brood of Hens
Herons: a Scattering, Siege or Sedge of Herons
Herring: an Army of Herring
Hippopotami: a Bloat of Hippopotami / Hippopotamuses
Hogs: a Drift or Parcel of Hogs
Hornets: a Nest of Hornets
Horses: a String, Team, Harras, Pair, Rag, Field, Herd, Remuda, Set or Stable of Horses
Hounds: a Pack, Kennel, Mute or Cry of Hounds
Jellyfish: a Brood, Smuck or Smack of Jellyfish
Kangaroos: a Mob or Troop of Kangaroos
Kittens: a Kindle or Litter of Kittens
Lapwings: a Desert or Deceit of Lapwings
Lemurs: a Group of Lemurs
Leopards: a Leap of Leopards
Lions: a Pride, Flock, Sawt, Souse or Troop of Lions
Locusts: a Cloud, Plague or Swarm of Locusts
Magpies: a Tittering, Tiding, Gulp, Murder or Charm of Magpies
Mallards: a Sord or Brace of Mallards
Minnows: a Steam of Minnows
Moles: a Labour of Moles
Monkeys: a Troop, Cartload or Barrel of Monkeys
Moose: a Herd of Moose
Mules: a Barren, Pack or Span of Mules
Oxen: a Team, Yoke, Drove, Herd, or Span Oxen
Oysters: a Bed of Oysters
Parrots: a Pandemonium or Company of Parrots
Partridges: a Covey of Partridges
Peacocks: a Muster, Ostentation or Pulchritude of Peacocks
Pheasants: a Head, Nye, Nest, Bouquet, Nide or Bevy of Pheasants
Pigeons: a Kit, Flock, Flight or Loft of Pigeons
Pigs: a Herd, Trip, Litter, Drift, Drove, Sounder, Team or Passel of Pigs
Ponies: a Drove or String of Ponies
Porcupines: a Prickle of Porcupines
Porpoises: a Herd, School or Pod of Porpoises
Quail: a Bevy, Drift or Covey of Quail
Rabbits: a Bury, Colony, Warren, Nest, Herd or Litter of Rabbits
Rats: a Colony, Pack or Swarm of Rats
Ravens: an Unkindness of Ravens
Reindeer: a Herd of Reindeer
Rhinos: a Crash or Herd of Rhinos
Sardines: a Family of Sardines
Seals: a Herd, Harem, Trip, Rookery or Pod of Seals
Sharks: a Shiver of Sharks
Sheep: a Flock, Herd, Hirsel, Pack, Drove, Trip or Mob of Sheep
Snakes: a Nest or Knot of Snakes
Snipe: a Wisp or Walk of Snipe
Sparrows: a Host of Sparrows
Squirrels: a Dray or Scurry of Squirrels
Storks: a Mustering of Storks
Swallows: a Flight or Gulp of Swallows
Swans: a Game, Bank, Team, Herd, Wedge, or Lamentation of Swans
Termites: a Brood, Colony, Nest or Swarm of Termites
Toads: a Knot or Knab of Toads
Trout: a Hover of Trout
Turkeys: a Rafter or Gang of Turkeys
Turtle Doves: a Pitying or Dule of Turtle Doves
Turtles: a Bale, Dole, Nest or Turn of Turtles
Walruses: a Herd or Pod of Walruses
Wasps: a Pladge of Wasps
Weasels: a Confusion or Pack of Weasels
Whales: a School, Herd, Gam, Pod or Grind of Whales
Wolves: a Pack or Rout of Wolves
Woodcocks: a Fall of Woodcocks
Woodpeckers: a Descent of Woodpeckers

May 13, 2005

Q1: If you were given a one-year, all expenses paid, all-access assignment to make a documentary film on any subject of your choosing, what do think your film's focus/topic would be?

Q2: Do you think monkeys will ever learn to cook with fire?

Q13: Today is Friday the 13th, a date which many people seem to automatically link to bad fortune and unfortunate events. Even though many cultures consider 13 to be a lucky number, many in the United States are extra careful to avoid black cats, ladders, and mirrors on this, the most notorious combination of day and date of the year. How do you feel about Friday the 13th? Does it give you the willies, or is Friday the 13th just like any other day in your life?

Q4: Earlier this week, the Governor of Indiana signed a bill into law that limits consumers' ability to purchase certain over-the-counter cold medicines. The new law, Indiana Senate Enrolled Act 444, restricts the sale of medicines such as Sudafed that contain ephedrine and pseudoephedrine, ingredients the State says are used in making meth. (Background: The State of Indiana says it is on pace to bust 1,700 meth labs this year alone.) Starting July 1, 2005, Indiana stores with open pharmacies must place cold medications containing ephedrine or pseudoephedrine in direct sight of the pharmacy with constant video monitoring, or in a locked cabinet or behind a counter. Additionally, anyone buying cold or allergy medicines containing ephedrine or pseudoephedrine will be required to show ID and sign a log sheet upon making such purchases. How do you feel about laws such as Indiana's? Are they worth the inconvenience they'll create for consumers? Are they worth the extra cost and difficulty they'll create for stores?

May 12, 2005

At last night's health and weight management class, we were encouraged to craft and follow-thru on a exercise contract covering the next seven days. Here's mine:

This Agreement, made on the 12th day of May 2005, between Me, Myself, and I (here further known as "I"), is with respect to a plan for exercise tentatively titled, Mikal's Plan for Exercise:

I agree as follows:

1. To exercise at least once a day over the course of five (5) of the next seven (7) days for a duration of no less than 60 minutes per exercise session.

2. To support this effort, I shall enlist the support of anyone reading this blog posting between the dates of May 12, 2005, and May 18, 2005, as well as share my plan with at least one person whom I see or speak to on a daily basis (most likely, my roommate).

3. My responsibilities with respect this agreement are to:

(a) blog efforts and result within twelve (12) hours of their occurrence; and
(b) report efforts and results at next Wednesday evening's health and weight management class.

4. Failure to follow-thru on any of the aforementioned points will be considered a breech of this Agreement, and will be punishable by great internal strife and public humiliation.

Notarized by anyone supportive enough to make a comment using the 'comment' link below.

The timing for this assignment is actually pretty good. While I already exercise on 5 out of 7 days per week, my gym is closed for most of the month of May for renovations, which leaves me on my own as far as having an actual place to go to exercise. The plan then for the next 7 days will be to go on walks either before or after work, with some sprints and light jogging thrown in for good measure.

Happy Thursday!

May 11, 2005

The other animals are out to get us. No doubt about it... there is a multi-species conspiracy whose goal is to harass, embarrass and attack humans. We've all heard about the eagle that stole a womanís beloved pet Chihuahua at a downtown gas station, and about the cross-country skier who got into a tussle with a moose after being attacked in the backcountry. I, myself, have a close friend who has nightly confrontations with a squirrel in her own home. But it's the bears you've gotta watch out for.

Apparently, bears have learned to stake out trails in the backcountry. When a group of hikers come by, the bears burst out of the woods sending the terrified humanoids running down the trail in a panic. Then, the bears tear into the abandoned backpacks and eat all the tuna sandwiches, fritos, and slim jims they can get their grimy paws on. According to various sources, the bears have evolved to the point where they break into cars and campers only when they see a cooler inside because they know thatís where theyíll find chilled food. Other ingenious bears have learned to walk out on the road, stop cars, and then conveniently pose for pictures with our fellow unwitting humans, who are more than happy to feed them. The tourists end up with some interesting video while the bears end up with case study after case study of how to pull off their next caper.

The other animals hate us too. Lions and tigers and bears are out to finish off the human race. Don't be surprised when herds of vicious, marauding squirrels turn every summertime picnic into a quirky little bloodbath.

Mind you, diplomatic efforts to put a halt to the impending doom are futile, because after all, itís impossible to get all the species together to discuss ways to end conflict because the other animals conveniently havenít yet learned to talk (or so that's what they'd like us to think... who the hell knows what they say when weíre not around).

May 6, 2005

Q1: If you could take a short class for the fun of it, say once a week for four or five weeks, what topic would the class most likely cover?

Q2: Do you think foreign students attending U.S. colleges should automatically be allowed to stay and work in the U.S. upon graduation?

Q3: In many states, knowingly filing a false police report is a considered a crime. Do you think Jennifer Wilbanks, a.k.a. The Runaway Bride, should be prosecuted because she initially reported to a 911 operator in New Mexico that she had been the victim of kidnapping? Regardless of your answer, do you feel Wilbanks should be held liable for the costs incurred by the hundreds of police officers and volunteers in her home town of Duluth, Georgia, who spent three days searching for her?

Q4: Do you have long-term employment or career objectives? If so, what are some of them, and have they changed over the years or have you always had the same goals?

May 3, 2005

Below: 34 different occupations.

Your job: Select three or more, then finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession.

If I could be a Jedi...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be a judge...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be an actor...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be an artist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a mob boss...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a proctologist...
If I could be a TV-DYI host...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a midget stripper...
If I could be a political activist...
If I could be a personal trainer...
If I could be a professional diver...
If I could be a TV talk show host...
If I could be a stand-up comedian...
If I could be a public address announcer...
If I could be a professional race car driver...

May 2, 2005

This girl I know who lives on the 4th floor of a nearby apartment has been having trouble with a peeping Tom. Every time she goes out on her balcony to catch a bit of sun while wearing her bikini, this peeping Tom looks over from his balcony and just stares at her. She has complained to the apartment superintendent but he says she must have positive proof before he can do anything. Yesterday, she finally got a picture of him while he was staring at her...